Golden times ahead

Great North now have a fourth album to their credit. Mike Alexander interviews the New Zealand band’s frontman, Hayden Donnell.

‘ Somehow literally every part of history is even worse than today.’ HAYDEN DONNELL

Our new album The Golden Age, which was released into record stores and the internet on October 20. Also the health supplement Herbalife: ‘‘It’s definitely not a pyramid scheme’’.

Perfect happiness is impossible. Pain is woven into the fabric of the universe, into the very essence of our being. Just kidding, my real answer is ‘‘eating the chicken with fresh chilli at Spicy House on Dominion Rd’’.

My Poppa or Bruce Springsteen. If you crossed my Poppa with Bruce Springsteen you would create the perfect human. Someone should make that happen stat. Neither of them are getting any younger. At my friend’s birthday party all the other kids said they were going to jump into the pool on the count of three, but actually it was a trick and only I jumped into the pool on the count of three. Are you a cop?

Fortunately my appearance is perfect in every way. Except for my toenails. My toenails are incredibly disgusting. Somehow literally every part of history is even worse than today. But if I’m allowed to come back, I’d probably go see Jesus, just so I could settle some important historical debates. Then I’d hoon out of there before the Romans sacked Jerusalem and started feeding people to the lions. On the way back I’d possibly try to kill Hitler, but let’s face it, I’d probably screw it up.

In no particular order: Excessive tuning during performances. Twitter. Terrible town planning. Terrible transport policy. The cost of rail transport in Britain. My own litany of personal failings. The worldwide resurgence of Nazism. The vocal stylings of Florence and the Machine. Do not under any circumstances sign up to Twitter.

If it wasn’t so deeply unethical and literally the root cause of many of our worst social