Why I’m backing the boomerang kids
Moving in with mum and dad often makes clear financial sense.
If you look up ‘‘feckless, entitled millennial’’ in the dictionary, you will see a picture of a dishevelled manchild named Michael Rotondo. This 30-year-old US mooch made headlines around the world after refusing to leave his parents’ basement, where he’d been lurking for eight years – even after they served five notices and took him to court.
While this cartoonish farce made for a great story, Rotondo’s living situation is not unusual. Western countries are experiencing a mass migration of 20-somethings returning to the parental nest. In New Zealand, more than 150,000 adults still lived withmumand dad in 2013 – a number that has no doubt grown rapidly.
Pity the parents of the ‘‘Boomerang Generation’’. A recent study by the London School of Economics found that the return of adult children caused a decline in quality of life equivalent to suffering an age-related disability – ie, having the kids back again cramps your style as much as losing the ability to walk.
And so, I felt more than a little uneasy about my own visit home recently. No sooner had my parents managed to empty the nest—after 30 years of raising their brood—then I turned up at the airport looking for a spare bed to crash in.
Fortunately, it’s been much more harmonious than when I last lived at home as a teenager. I’ve noticed that quite a few of my peers have swallowed their pride and moved back in with their folks while they study or save money, and now I don’t think it’s such a bad idea.
Traditionally, moving back home was seen as a sign of defeat. These days, with an accommodation shortage and million-dollar house prices, it seems more like a savvy financial strategy. My brother and his wife moved home while they were saving up a house deposit. Instead of becoming basement-dwelling troglodytes, they’re now happily ensconced in their own place.
I don’t think this is any different to receiving a loan or gift from the Bank of Mumand Dad, which these days is almost a necessity for getting a foot on the property ladder. In some cases, boomeranging is the smarter option: my parents don’t have a whole lot of spare cash to divert away from their own retirement, but they do have a big, empty house with an attached flat.
Navigating this intergenerational living situation requires some ground rules. Boomerang kids have to pull their weight and live like flatmates, not as children. There has to be a clear exit strategy. If parents make the family home too comfortable, they’ll end up with a Rotondo on their hands. AP Bailing adult children out of every sticky financial situation stunts their development. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.
It’s worth remembering that two or three generations sharing one home is completely normal in most cultures. It’s only considered weird in the West, and even that’s a fairly recent phenomenon. The current belief that everyone ought to be atomised individuals living alone in empty houses is also inefficient, and given the current housing situation, not always practical.
I won’t exactly be heartbroken to wave goodbye to my parents later this month, and perhaps they’ll feel the same way. But it was a surprisingly OK experience. While there’s definitely something grotesque about a Peter Pan-style adult child who refuses to grow up, clear expectations and a few firm ground rules can make it work for everyone. Got a burning money question? Email Budget Buster at richard.meadows@thedeepdish.org, or hit him up on Facebook, where you can also find links to previous Budget Busters.