Manage your emotions at Christmas

Christmas can be a time of high emotion and people will not always behave how you expect them to, or how you would.

Our frazzled nerves from a year of stress and pressure can sometimes snap, and consequences occur in the form of injury and even assault.

Sadly, domestic violence doesn’t go on holiday and, fuelled by alcohol, emergency departments can see spikes in all sorts of trauma.

Controlling your emotions, being flexible in expectation and understanding of other people’s perspective may be the best Christmas present you can give.

Remember your thoughts control your emotions, so if you are feeling stressed, angry or frustrated, try to isolate what you are thinking. Most of the thoughts that make us feel bad are not true and are not worth having.

So, if your goal is to have a peaceful, harmonious Christmas Day with family and you feel this rise of rejection, frustration and anger, then try to isolate what you are thinking. This will be driving your emotions. Over the past 20 years I have seen so may examples of how emotions in the festive season run hot in the workshops we run.

In one case, the trigger was a brother not buying his sister’s kids presents. The emotion was anger fuelled by the thought that he was selfish. The consequence of that emotion was that the sister stopped talking to her brother for 20 years.

I have identified several attitude profiles and one is The Demander. I needed a cure for each profile, and in this case it’s the Trader.

So instead of saying ‘‘my brother should have bought presents’’, we change our language to ‘‘I would prefer that he did’’ and maybe ask why in an inquisitive tone.

Tell people that you prefer they turn up on time as the consequence may be that the turkey will dry out, or that you may be asleep or whatever is the truth.

So, from all the emergency services staff this Christmas, we would prefer you kept your emotions under control, reducing the risk of you or others being harmed. We would rather you spent it with your loved ones than have to come and see us.

Merry Christmas. Have a peaceful and loving day, wherever you are and be grateful for what you have.

Dr Tom Mulholland is a GP with 30 years’ experience. He’s currently on a mission, tackling health issues around New Zealand.

UNSPLASH Emergency departments see a spike in admissions over the Christmas season, often fuelled by increased drinking during this time.