Guy children’s grief, five years on
When Scott Guy was murdered, his son wasn’t born. This year, little Drover Guy will be off to school. and talk with a family that wants answers to his killing.
WITH HIS cowboy boots and hat, Drover Guy is like a miniature version of the father he never met. Drover’s dad, Scott, was shot dead in the driveway of his property near Feilding two months before he was born.
Since then, five years have gone by. For Scott’s family, sometimes it seems like yesterday, sometimes an eternity.
But life goes on, and in September Drover will join his brother Hunter, 7, at primary school in Hawke’s Bay.
Scott Guy had bought a knife to sever Drover’s umbilical chord. Instead, his grandad, Bryan, performed that duty. Bryan said Hunter and Drover were ‘‘ real characters’’. ‘‘There’s a lot of Scott in both the boys.’’
Did he talk to them dad?
‘‘Not so much these days. We did earlier on, but we try not to bring up Scott too much when we talk to the boys because I don’t think dwelling on it helps them.’’
He and wife Jo remain close to Scott’s widow, Kylee, and catch up with the kids as often as they can.
Five years hasn’t dulled the pain for Jo Guy.
‘‘Sometimes it feels like yesterday and other times it’s like a lifetime ago. Some days you get that melancholy feeling of ‘ this is way too hard’ then you pick up again.’’
The couple try not to dwell on the fact the killer has not been convicted.
‘‘It would just eat us up,’’ said Bryan. ‘‘We have certainly learnt a lot about resilience.’’
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Scott Guy was killed in his driveway.
The Guys reflect gratefully on the people who supported them during their very public grief and the trial of son- in- law Ewen Macdonald, who was acquitted of the murder.
They have cut off communication with Macdonald, who is
Not yet born when his father was killed, Drover Guy is about to begin school. serving a five- year prison term, having pleaded guilty to charges of theft, intentional damage and arson. His sentence ends on April 6, 2016.
He was November, refused parole last the Parole Board finding he had a ‘‘significant personality disturbance’’ and he remained an undue risk to the community.
His father, Kerry Macdonald, said Ewen was doing well – ‘‘as good as gold’’ – and would probably have IT’S BEEN nearly five years since my older brother Scott was brutally murdered in the driveway of his own home. And five years have passed still not having the closure that our family desperately needs.
At the time I found it very difficult to talk about what had happened. I was in shock and had so many people telling me their opinions; it felt like my mind was constantly spinning. It was so hard to get my head around everything that happened, let alone how I was feeling. But it didn’t take me long to realise that if I thought about it all the time and kept going over it that I got nowhere and I would only feel worse. It doesn’t mean I don’t care or think or talk about it at all; I just don’t dwell on it. I decided I didn’t want to be bitter and twisted, otherwise I would be the one who would end up miserable and I don’t think my kids would want to be around me either.
I do believe that time heals slowly. I have days now that are great but I still have days that are tough. Family is important. I am very close with mine and being able to talk to them and have another parole hearing around November. He was no longer part of the work to release programme, which was cancelled after killer paedophile Phillip Smith escaped to Brazil, but was working on a rebuild project at Rolleston prison near Christchurch.
‘‘ He’s busy on that every day, they’re doing earthquake damaged houses, refurbishing them and then the owner sells them on.’’
Macdonald said he and his wife Marlene often took their four grandchildren, Finn, Jack, Lucy and Wade, to see their dad in prison. their encouragement and support has kept me going. It was such a huge thing for our family to go through and I don’t think any of us will ever be the same again. But we have got stronger and closer because of it.
The kids have settled into Auckland life extremely well, they have met some wonderful friends and our community couldn’t be more welcoming. They still have their moments too but we talk openly about what happened and tell them how important it is to communicate. I want them to have good lives with wonderful memories. I’m still with Brent and at home looking after Ruby, who’s one.
I’m looking at getting back into some work soon, I’m not sure what.
I still find it hard to understand what happened to my family and why, but I’m determined not to let it define me.
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my brother and miss him terribly.
His life was just beginning and it seems so unfair to have it taken away. I wish I could bring him back but I know I can’t.
‘‘He gets to see them on a regular basis, phone calls a couple of times a week, more if he needs it. He can phone them any time. They’re still very much in love with their father, they absolutely dote on him.’’
He did not believe their father’s imprisonment was unduly hard on the kids, as they’d become used to it.
‘‘ The kids are well- fed, wellwatered, well- schooled, wellhoused and enjoying life. They don’t know what might have been, it’s only the adult perspective that looks at that.’’