COULD YOU, SHOULD YOU?

HELPING THE kids into homes may not be a wise thing for many parents to do, Wellington financial adviser Alison Renfrew says.

Her fundamental rule is that parents should only help if they have their own finances sorted.

‘‘They should talk with a financial adviser to make sure they are secure first,’’ she says.

‘‘It is just like on an aeroplane. You put your own oxygen mask on before you help the kids.’’

Secure means having enough saved to fund a decent retirement, something Renfrew is fairly certain most people don’t have.

It would be awful for someone to help their kids into homes only to find they haven’t enough to live on in retirement, Renfrew says. The question they need to ask is: ‘‘How much will I jeopardise my retirement, if I fork out this money to my children now.’’

She also does not believe parents should feel obligated to help.

‘‘Why should parents feel an obligation? The fundamentals of parenting are feed them, clothe them, and educate them.’’

Once parents are financially secure, helping the kids into homes is something that does satisfy the parental sense of love and affection, and Renfrew has been helping her kids into homes.

But, she says, help one, help them all must be the rule in families, which can quickly get expensive. ‘‘Equity is essential. No parent wants unhappy children.’’ Renfrew is not a fan of parents providing guarantees to their children. She’s seen the effect that guarantees gone wrong cause.

‘‘I don’t like guarantees at all, but if it is really, really well written so you know exactly what you are up for, it may be fine,’’ she said.