DriveTimes Five
Useless car technology
Most of the technology that goes into today’s cars is incredible. Most. But today, we look at five tech features that serve no useful purpose.
Paddle shifters
We think paddle shifters on steering wheels are brilliant, but only when they are hooked up to a transmission that actually wants to pay attention to them. Too often paddle shifters are only useful for suggesting what gear the driver would like and the car is really the one in charge. This is good when it prevents over-revving, but it usually makes you want to ignore the paddles altogether. Toyota is probably the worst offender, with a flick of the paddle showing a change of gear on the display, but not in the gearbox. Done properly, paddle-shifters can be great. Done poorly they are annoying.
Sill lights
Seriously, what is the point of an illuminated door sill? Is it so you don’t forget what your car is at night? Or is it simply the unfortunate result of the availability of cheap and compact lighting, combined with car engineers with way too much time on their hands? We think the latter. We can’t come up with another reason for illuminated door sills even being a thing.
Eco light
Not only is the increasingly common Eco light just plain stupid, it’s also incredibly annoying. Just in case you can’t feel your feet, the ‘‘helpful’’ eco light lets you know when you are using an acceptably eco-friendly amount of throttle. It also gives the impression of being a useful warning light by flickering on and off among the other dashboard information. Which it isn’t. In the slightest.
Night vision
When thermal night vision systems started popping up in cars a while back, all the tech-nerds got excited about it, before quickly realising how useless it was. While it could be useful if it was part of a heads-up display projected onto the windscreen highlighting hidden hazards, the technology isn’t quite there yet. Night vision capability still requires you to look at a display in the dashboard, removing its usefulness as a safety feature by making you take your eyes off the road. It is, however, useful for seeing how fresh road kill is or if cats or possums are hiding in the bushes.
Social media
Some people just can’t stay away from Facebook, so car manufacturers are starting to look at social media integration in their cars. Now, if you have to update your status even while you’re driving, you shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel of a twotonne vehicle. We couldn’t imagine anything worse than being notified that someone you don’t like had a strange dream last night, while driving. Social media and cars just shouldn’t mix. Even Apple and Google have managed to keep the worst of it at arm’s length with their CarPlay and Android Auto systems.