Drama choked by corn and cheese
Me Before You (PG) 110 mins
★★ The fault in this movie lies at the feet of its writer, novelist Jojo Moyes, but as an accessory to patronising, director Thea Sharrock (in her cinematic debut) is also guilty as charged.
How dost thou offend me, Jojo? Let me count the ways.
Imagine you are Will Traynor (Sam Claflin from Huntsman and Hunger Games, and just as unmemorable here), once a rich, handsome, able-bodied young toff whose days were filled with skiing and diving off cliffs into the Mediterranean before you returned to your swanky innercity pad and generically beautiful girlfriend. How awful it would be to suffer a grievous accident whereby you wound up a rich, handsome, wheelchair-bound young toff whose days were suddenly filled with playing unspeakably bad music at obnoxious volumes and scowling at those who love you, while living in your parents’ castle (because, of course it is).
Imagine a dotty young woman from the village turned up one day, desperately in need of a reliable income on which to feed her out-of-work family. She wears kooky clothes and is so dauntless in her good cheer that she drives you nuts. Could life get any worse, you wonder? Now knowing for sure that someone is punishing you for being rich, handsome, disabled and a right arse about it.
My viewing companion, Outraged of Mt Wellington, is an extremely able young disabled man, whose snorts of derision at the cliched dialogue and deeply problematic attitudes proved an apt soundtrack to my own objections.
At least, he found the bright young filly delightful; poor old Lou Clark (Emilia Clarke, breaking that Daenerys Targaryen mould for real) over-annunciated and flounced her way through the movie’s first half, forcing me to focus on her wardrobe as it transitioned, rather better than her character, from ghastly to actually quite charming.
I won’t spoiler the cheesy trajectory or shocking denouement, but suffice to say Me Before You was doomed the moment it assumed its target market of sick-lit-loving young adults would be too busy sniffing through their tissues to notice how patronising the story is.
When the ungracious Will Traynor’s father mutters, ‘‘Will needs to be allowed to feel like a man again’’, you’ll really choke on your popcorn.