My perfect week in London

When the paradoxical and parodic Perfect Mike Hosking speaks, Europe stops and listens. Well, what a week I had in London covering one of the most important challenges of our times, not only for Europe but also the wider world. Do you remain with the status quo? Or, do you leave and forge an independent path with the attendant risks of isolation, insecurity and derision? But enough about my clothes shopping choices in Oxford St. This week there’s also been the Brexit referendum and fallout.

As we now know, Great Britain voted to leave the European Union. As an outsider, it’s not for me to comment on whether they made the right choice, except to note that the vote was roughly 52 per cent leave and 48 per cent moron. It’s one of life’s ironies that while Europe is the home of fine cars, finer fashion and the finest of wines, the European Union itself is a basket case and Great Britain is clearly better off out.

My sense is Britain will be great on its own and my extensive onthe-ground research of the British economy supports this conclusion. Fruit in central London is cheap and the West End shops have people to open doors for you.

CNN’s Richard Quest agrees with me. My interview with him was a real highlight of the week – for him. Quest is very tall, immaculately dressed and smells like Serge Lutens’ 1834 Cologne for men wiped on the customised leather interior of a Porsche Panamera. He said something about Brexit in an authoritative tone so it must have been right.

I interviewed Nigel Farage in the spirit of the Leave campaign by leaving out any real questions – like how he leaves the casual out of his racism and bigotry. I particularly enjoyed the gross insensitivity of Farage telling his fellow MEPs that they’d never had real jobs. Like how I regularly rubbish journalists while standing in a newsroom full of journalists.

The Brexit result raises three interesting side questions: who will now lead the British Tory and Labour parties? What does this mean for Scottish independence? And, why won’t Andrew Little apologise to John Shewan?

As for Scotland voting again on independence, Scotland doesn’t do enough in the world to justify its own independent existence.

The only blemish in my perfect peach of a week was my interview with the people behind Absolutely Fabulous. Turns out they weren’t pitching me an autobiography project.

Follow me on Twitter at @MikePerfectHosk, the perfect parody.