Keeping screens away from the kids

welcomes ways to get kids away from the screens.

The first thing I do every morning after I’ve woken up is check my phone. Well, actually it’s more like, get woken abruptly by a foot in the face from my two-year-old who has somehow snuck her way into the best part of the bed at stupid o’clock. Force myself to leave the warmth and out into the cold kitchen, my arm pulled by my five-year-old who is desperate for food because he’s ‘‘starving’’ – he obviously has terrible parents who don’t feed him.

Turn on the kettle and stare bleary eyed at the condensation on the windows and dark sky. The sky is still dark. Why am I up? Then I reach for my phone. My connection to the outside world, my little shiny companion. Wonder what’s happened overnight. There’s a celebrity trending on Twitter. Have they died? No, just said something controversial. Boring. Over to Facebook. I’ve been invited to an event. Don’t they know I never leave the house? Give a few likes. Shut it down. Snapchat – any new filters? Have a play, decide nobody needs to see me before I’ve showered. Delete. Check Instagram, quick flick and then check the news pages.

I can do all this while I make breakfast for the kids with my other hand, but my attention is split and they can see this. They are learning from me that this is ok. Sad, isn’t it. It’s no wonder then, that when they come home at the end of the day the first thing they ask for is the iPad or to watch TV. Now, I won’t hear a bad word about TV. I grew up watching it, a lot. Mum and Dad did try and instigate a chores-for-TV-tokens system, but that didn’t last. Still, I think it fuelled my imagination and inspired me to work in film and TV.

I know that’s not the case for everyone. As a parent, I understand how valuable peace and quiet is and how devices can give us a few moments to ourselves. But I do feel guilty. I really do. I wonder if it’s my fault because they see me on my phone so much. I worry that I’ve somehow turned their brains into custard.

I visited a friend recently at her home. The eldest of her three kids is five and they don’t have a TV. It was inspiring to me that the kids played so well just using their imaginations. She assured me I came on a good day, but still, it was a wake-up call. We’re obviously all addicted, I know I am. I try not to be, I try and move away I really do. But I always come back.

Police this week are cracking down and not only fining people but imposing demerit points on drivers found talking on their phones. A friend of mine was pinged reading the map on his phone. The message is clear, detach! It’s dangerous.

School holidays begin tomorrow and while it’s a great time to actually spend some time with your kids, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly concerned about how I’ll fill the hours. I stumbled across an incredible school holiday programme recently: Conscious Kids – ‘‘a 100% nature based holiday programme designed as an antidote to the fast-paced technology filled world our kids inhabit’’. The kids spend their days making huts, climbing trees, making mud pies, painting, learning how to build a camp fire, being free. I feel good just reading those words.

My five-year-old went last school holidays and it was absolutely brilliant. He didn’t miss his devices at all. This is the kind of Kiwi childhood I want him to have and, I think, a reminder to me that kids can have some time on the iPad, in front of TV – of course. I’m not a monster. But tempered with real life, that’s where the goodness is.

My phone is my connection to the outside world.