#Ask Jaquie

Spring is the time when we abolish the gloom of winter, get in shape and eat some cake, says Jaquie Brown

There is something about Spring that makes me feel pregnant. I’m not pregnant. No way. Don’t get any ideas. I’m closed for business down there. Well, obviously not all business, I’m still open for some business, just not that business. And you don’t need to know this, why are we talking about this? Forget I mentioned it. I’m terrible at writing columns.

So, Spring. Yes, with all the sunlight pouring into my house I can see the filth I’ve been living in over Winter. Eww. Disgusting.

Dust on everything, finger marks and little Vegemite drawings on walls. Please let that be just Vegemite. Furniture that seemed comfy and well loved in winter, now looks worn out and in need of a refresh. When I was pregnant and close to the pop I became obsessed with cleaning. No cupboard was left un-wiped. I was a woman with a damp cloth on a mission.

Spring brings that out in me, too. So today I found myself spring cleaning the house, donating toys and clothes, and taking antihistamine pills because – the dust! As a side note, how can dust actually get into folded clothes inside a closed drawer that hasn’t been opened in months? Is dust magic? No wonder I don’t trust it.

Back to the spring clean. After the house comes me. Now, I don’t believe in exercising to ‘lose weight’ anymore. Partly because I’m inherently lazy and partly because I love myself enough to not care. I believe in health and exercising to feel good. I don’t own scales, I have no idea what I weigh but I’m happy to report that at 41 (It was my birthday this week, thank you for the gifts you didn’t send) I love my body, it’s warm and smooth and sometimes dances in time. A very different view to my 14-year-old self, who believed her shape and weight equalled her attractiveness. I wish I could go back and hug the young me and tell her how great and free she’ll feel at 41 when she is able to let all that go.

(Thanks for the time machine nobody invented yet and didn’t send me for my birthday)

And, genuinely, I love the feeling after exercise when those en-dolphins swim around my body. But I’ve not had enough time lately to allow the dolphins in, so with the change of season, I’m back to it.

Judging by how few carparks there were at the gym, I know I’m not the only one thinking this. The sun comes out, we all freak out about summer and want to get fit again. Or fit in the first place.

I did start to wonder if it was a good idea to spring clean my body as well as the house as a wave of dizziness overcame me during my millionth ‘burpie’ during my Les Mills class. To the uninitiated a burpie is a burst of hell followed by doubt, pain and then nausea. We’re told they’re good for us but they said that about cigarettes, once.

A quick stop off to my favourite cafe on the way home to buy some cake. I have worked hard, I probably should refuel. As I wait for it to be sliced and carefully housed in cardboard I scroll through Instagram and a post by ‘all talk with Anika Moa’ catches my eye. ‘The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake’

Words to live by. Thank you, Anika Moa.

I love the feeling after exercise when those en-dolphins swim around my body.