What exactly did Donald say to Melania?

The CIA provided the spoof spies @GCSBIntercepts with the transcript of the Donald and Melania’s waltzing whisperings …

Melania: I’m very proud of you Barack. Donald: What?!?! Melania: I thought that was what the First Lady was supposed to say during first the dance. Did I do wrong? Are you going to lock me up too?

Donald: No. Nobody’s getting locked up …

Melania: Good. Donald: … until Monday. Melania: Why are you waiting till Monday to start work?

Donald: Look, don’t tell anyone but I need to ask for help because I’m starting out with a totally clean sheet.

Melania: Oh, clean sheet. OK, I understand. Like after that party in Moscow. Is that why you ask Putin for help, too?

Donald: No. And we don’t talk about Putin – remember?

Melania: Sorry. There are just so many things to remember not to talk about. Putin, Trump University, the Trump Foundation, Trump Steaks, the Trump Shuttle, Trump Casinos, Trump Water , Trump Magazine … Donald: Yes, alright Melania … Melania: … that Trump ties are made in China …

Donald: OK, Melania, that’s enough.

Melania: Oh and pussies. Which reminds me. I know they’re tiny but keep your hands above my waist.

Donald: Ok, well at least kiss me for the cameras. It will look good on Fox News. Melania: Ok then, three. Donald: Just one will do. Melania: No. Three thousand for a kiss. You know the deal. And cash, not credit. I’ve seen your tax returns.

Trump: And we don’t talk about my tax returns. Ever. They don’t exist any more. Like Obamacare, free trade and free speech.

Melania: If free speech doesn’t exist why didn’t the secret service agents stop the protesters?

Donald: Because they’re there to protect me. And it was cold and blustery and my scalp tape was starting to peel away.

Melania: Wait. I thought we definitely didn’t talk about THAT.