One fun-run away from a lycra shortage
Getting stuck behind a hauler on the Desert Rd was a moment to treasure forever, says rugby writer Alan Dymock.
Having spent the past fortnight in New Zealand covering the British & Irish Lions tour, I have developed a sense of impending dread . . . what happens if the country’s lycra supplies run out?
We are just one unexpected funrun away from exhausting the national leggings stockpile.
The good people of New Zealand leave nothing to the imagination in their clinging pants and I have to ask, is it the law here; is activewear actually the national uniform?
I get the sense of duty. Kiwis are proud people and I understand the desire to safeguard what you have.
The thought struck me on a recent road trip. Having left Dunedin, following the Lions’ collapse against the unfancied Highlanders, we set out to arrive in Rotorua by Wednesday evening.
Instead of jumping on a few flights to the sulphurous wonder, we decided to jet to Wellington and drive north.
There is a special level of disdain reserved for a hire car driver in New Zealand. Well, certainly there were a few craned necks as our Jucy issue Fiat Punto rolled along Highway 1, but the little ripper got us there in the end. We only got beeped once and only feared for our lives during that blackout period, twisting Tongariro National Park.
The plains around it are reminiscent of the scrubland in the movie Se7en, but Mt Ngauruhoe was awesome to behold.
The only shame was we were stuck behind a wide-load hauler, clacking ahead with a digger on its back, spoiling the view somewhat.
Along with the hissing on the radio – there is no radio in your through sticks – it was a moment to treasure forever.
I’ll admit to bottling it a bit, though. Highways in this country seem to go through the middle of as many towns as possible, and as we scythed through another centre we had an opportunity to stop at the Rat Hole pub on the Highway’s only right turn. But fear took hold.
Once in Rotorua, I think I made amends though, in terms of facing fear and in the rodent stakes.
Well played to the River Rats rafters, who soaked the travelling journalists on the local white water rapids. Some even managed to stay in the boat.
Which is fitting. It’s almost time for you all to stop pretending you like sailing, New Zealand. The Tests between the All Blacks and Lions are finally here.