What are you plugging right now?

Nell Gwynn: Auckland Theatre Company’s brilliant, funny, rags-toriches true story set when women had finally been given the right to perform as themselves on stage in the late 1600s as ordained by King Charles II (that’s me!). The most uplifting theatre script I’ve read in years.

"I choose to learn and move on from mistakes."

Is there anything else you would like to plug?

[Donald] Trump’s twitter fingers into a light socket? But also Brokenwood Mysteries (series 4) coming to Prime TV soon. I’m the head writer on that show.

What’s your idea of perfect happiness?

to the third chair on the second row (as I did every night), mounted the chair and began pumping my groin to the music for the benefit of the (supposedly) ecstatic woman. However, above the loud music I heard the anguished cry of the woman in the next seat yelling ‘Don’t you think she’s a bit young!?’ I looked down and realised on this particular night the seat was occupied by a girl of 11. I yelled an apology and made for my fireman’s pole sliding back down to the relative safety of the stage. I finished the routine expecting to be arrested.

Ever stolen anything?

A lolly from a dairy in Tauranga in 1974. I still feel bad about it.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Twitter! We are living through a watershed era where truth has been redefined and ‘‘alternative facts’’ have been accepted as plausible. Next step the The Handmaid’s Tale? It doesn’t seem so far fetched now.

Ever done anything you regret and would redo if you could?

I choose to learn and move on from mistakes.

What life lesson would you pass on to your children?

Always drink from a glass that is half full, that way you will never be thirsty. Also, respect and courtesy go a long way.

What job would you do other than your own and why?

I’ve always had a thing for radio. I listen to it a lot. It’s one medium that hasn’t fundamentally changed since it’s inception. The human voice plus a microphone plus the magic of radio waves equals connection. I think Duncan Garner’s AM Show, Jason [Hoyte] and Leigh [Hart] on Hauraki and the entire Radio NZ team have cracked it. Hats off.

What do you do to chill out and relax?