‘‘If you vote for the opposite team than me, you’ll cancel my vote out.’’
watch out, people can complain that you didn’t vote and yet you’re still complaining. I don’t know if this is common, or just some dumb crap my dad has said to me about three elections in a row. It’s not true, if two people vote for different parties on opposite sides, both of those parties move one vote ahead of everyone else.
Dad’s logic might make a bit more sense if he gathered up seven voters, each voting for a different party, and you all planned on not turning up to vote because you would then cancel each other out.
‘‘All politicians are idiots, none of them care about me!’’
Actually, this one is true. No, that’s a joke. There are a lot of great politicians out there on both sides, and I believe there’s a party out there for everyone, from the Aotearoa Legalise Cannabis party to Ban 1080 (yes, that’s a real party), there’s bound to be someone who is fighting for what you want to vote for.
‘‘Politics is ugly, I don’t want to get into it.’’
Good point and idea! You should still vote, just don’t tell people who you vote for!
Or use a great technique called lying! When has that ever gone wrong?!
‘‘What if I hate all the parties?’’
Very good and possibly rational point! Throw away your vote! Vote for a party with almost no chance of getting in as a ‘‘protest vote’’.
My personal favourite ‘‘comedy’’ party is called the Conservative Party, but there’s a lot of great options out there to throw a big ‘‘stuff you’’ at the system.
‘‘I don’t know who to vote for?’’
That’s half the fun! No one does really! Try to pick some key issues that matter to you, and then go online and try to figure out which party represents what matters to you.
Vote for your favourite colour for all I care, just make sure you get involved and vote on September 23 (or before, especially if you’re not enrolled), and remember: ‘‘Vote early, and vote often’’.
Guy Williams’ new stand-up comedy special is available for free to stream online early this week at guywilliams.co.nz.