Nadine Higgins

Feminism seems to be the hardest word

Sunday Star-Times photographer John Kirk-Anderson was on scene for the re-opening of State Highway 1, north of Kaikoura. The highway – the major route between Picton and Christchurch – had been closed for 13 months due to damage from a magnitude-7.8 earthquake that struck the region in November last year.

You’ve got to love those listicles that come out at this time of year, made possible by how often we ask Google stuff we used to ask our mothers.

According to the search engine, we Kiwis mostly spent 2017 asking the internet how to make slime, and little else.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary’s mostsearched-for words reveal slightly more cerebral online queries. This year its users really wanted to know what feminism is.

The definition is, as definitions are, definitive. ‘‘Feminism. Noun. The theory of political, economic, and social equality of the sexes’’, and ‘‘organised activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests’’.

Wait, what? I’m confused. That seems far too reasonable for a term people spat out with the venom of the swear word at the top of the Do Not Broadcast list.

Shouldn’t it say ‘‘Feminism. Noun. The practice of hating men, eschewing mammary support and over-reacting to harmless lockerroom banter’’?

And where’s the bit where it says ‘‘Synonyms: misandry. Colloquial usage: Feminazi, femtard, schizophreminist. Known feminist qualities: hairy armpits, angry disposition, razor-sharp teeth concealed within genitalia’’.

I couldn’t find that stuff anywhere. How disappointed some people must have been to find out that feminism is exactly what it says on the box: a belief in the equality of the sexes.

I imagine Leader of the Opposition Bill English being among those furiously punching the term into his keyboard, in the hope of being able to declare to the press gallery that finally, he knows what it means.

I picture former Minister for Women and part-time feminist Paula Bennett doing the same, and discovering, as she sips from her latte bowl, that its definition doesn’t really allow you to slip it on and off on different days of the week like a leopard print coat.

I imagine Donald Trump’s press secretary, and chief apologist, Sarah Huckabee-Sanders reading the definition … and declaring it fake news.

While it’s clearly misunderstood, the term – first used in 1895 – has weathered the ages far better than others coined the same year, such as glad handing (not at all dirty, despite how it sounds) and golliwog (no explanation needed).

Perhaps now, a mere 122 years later, the googling prompted by marches against a misogynist occupying the White House and a slew of sexual assault revelations, will prompt us to stop flinging the word around like an insult and qualifying what kind of feminist we are. Perhaps a little help from the internet might finally help us put this debate to bed.

That would certainly free up some time in 2018, so we can all get back to googling how to make slime.

I imagine Donald Trump's press secretary, and chief apologist, Sarah Huckabee-Sanders reading the definition … and declaring it fake news.