Your bumper Easter quiz
Take 10 minutes this weekend, and let David Slack highlight how little you know about national goings on.
This week we finally heard from Australia the sweet sweet words we have craved so very long. Brought low by cheating cricket heroes, they asked: ‘‘Why can’t we be more like New Zealand?’’ Feel the glow! They finally see us for what we are! Or do they? Let’s review our performance over the past seven days.
What does Clare Curran use to deal with political fallout? a. Her many years of experience in PR. b. Her extensive knowledge of open government. c. Sandpaper.
What parts of the New Zealand economy are most vulnerable to Russian spying? a. Rugby World Cup TV rights. b. Super Rugby TV rights. c. Tri Nations Rugby rights. d. Spinach production.
We haven’t booted out any Russian spies and a bag of spinach costs twice what it usually does and half a cauli is $4.50. Is this related? a. Yes. b. Has to be.
How much did spinach cost when John Key was prime minister? a. Not nearly that much. b. Don’t know, I gargle kale. c. Never mind the price of spinach, can we talk about the Obama visit?
Which tortured character does New Zealand most resemble as it sits at the window hoping for a tweet from Barack Obama? a. Cathy in Wuthering Heights. b. Phoebe in Friends. c. Anastasia in Fifty Shades of Grey.
John Key said the Obama visit would be very good for New Zealand. He also said he was getting us a panda. What would be a good way for him to prove he’s not full of it? a. Donate a new wing to Middlemore Hospital. b. Express regret for completely neglecting Middlemore Hospital while they were responsible managers. c. Get a working bee to sort out the sewage leaking into Middlemore Hospital’s walls.
Our health system urgently needs $10 billion in capital investment and the last government had allocated $600m. Also, nurses and midwives are underpaid. Where did they think the rest of the money was going to come from? a. Rugby World Cup TV rights. b. Super Rugby TV rights. c. Tri Nations Rugby rights. d. Spinach production.
Seriously though, she’s the minister for open government – shouldn’t she be an open book? a. Yes. b. Maybe she’ll impress us all by completely overhauling the way the Official Information Act is used. c. Sandpaper.
Poor old Dunedin has been mocked by people in Auckland and Wellington for having enormous Ed Sheeran excitement and also enormous Ed Sheeran murals. This is because: a. Gargling kale and not wolfing down cheese rolls makes you a mean person. b. Dunedin’s Ed-citement contravenes the New Zealand code of slightly raising one eyebrow to express jubilation. c. Some of us would rather put sandpaper down our trousers. d. RNZ’s Gyles Beckford is correct: Ed is the saveloys and tomato sauce of music.
Minister Phil Twyford announced exciting plans for intensive urban development in Mt Albert, but critics claimed it would be as dense as Mumbai. Others counter that if you build on only a third of the site and leave two thirds for access and open space, you could fit 4000, 85-squaremetre dwellings into four-storey buildings. They suggest that could look like a neighbourhood in suburban Stockholm.
Is it possible that some people just don’t want to believe there could be new and better ways of doing things? a. Yes. b. There will never be a time when reactionaries don’t.
Why is Winston Peters so keen for us to have a trade agreement with Russia? a. He’s read good things about them on Facebook. b. As a student, he had a very good night in the back of a Lada – if you know what I mean. c. Bet Barry Soper a bottle of Glenlivet he could do it.
Julie Anne Genter told a group of intermediate students: ‘‘If we’re going to improve the diversity of boards, then we will need some of the current positions vacated so there can be room for new diversity and talent.’’ This was: a. Eminently sensible because it’s fair and because the more diversity you have, the more successful your enterprise tends to be. b. Just the kind of thing young people should be hearing, to encourage them all. c. Ageist. d. Object to the previous baseless assertion. She said ‘‘some’’ not ‘‘all’’.
What will it take to persuade people in entrenched positions of power that it’s in everyone’s interest for them to relinquish some? a. RNZ+. b. A tweet from Barack Obama. c. Sandpaper.
@DavidSlack