Lynda Hallinan
Pitfalls in raising kids from home
Jacinda Ardern’s days are numbered. Rather, her days on maternity leave are numbered. In little over a week, she’s expected back at the Beehive and partner Clarke Gayford will be left holding the baby.
Or, as Aussie author Natalie Ritchie so indelicately declared, the care of newborn Neve shall be ‘‘dumped’’ on the child’s father.
Ritchie does not sound like my sort of gal.
The Sydney parenting journalist has written a book called Roar Like a Woman: How Feminists Think Women Suck and Men Rock.
Either someone deleted a comma and switched those gender descriptors or she’s off her rocker.
I’ve read Ritchie’s book (well, the 11-page sample you can download free from her website), which begins with a fictional anecdote about a career ladder-climbing feminazi sneering over her shoulder pads at a stay-at-home mum. ‘‘In this book,’’ she writes, ‘‘the word ‘feminist’ means that stereotypical careerwoman with a lurking air of disapproval of anything that smacks of femininity.
‘‘Her definition of ‘strong’ is a woman who thinks, walks and talks indistinguishably from the way a man thinks, walks and talks.
‘‘She wears a suit like he does, and keeps her mothering and domestic workload out of public view, like he does. When it uses the word ‘feminist’, this book means the feminist leadership, not those of us who follow.’’
Despite describing herself as ‘‘an ordinary mother’’, Ritchie could do with a bowl of reduced cream dip for all the chips on her shoulders.
Apparently it’s not enough for our Prime Minister to give birth while in office; Ritchie reckons Ardern now owes it to the sisterhood to renegotiate her employment contract and go part-time.
(I suppose it is technically possible to juggle political leadership and baby making; after all, former Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce had two families on the go.)
If cutting the PM’s hours doesn’t cut it, Ardern could also ‘‘work from home, or bring Neve to the office’’, says Ritchie.
Err, when my boys were babies, I struggled to run the washing machine and the dishwasher while working from home, let alone a country.
In my experience, working from home while raising kids has pitfalls and perks. There are no office politics (pun intended) and, if you’re expressing milk, you can dispense with all dignity, and those ridiculous muslin shrouds, and just slap a pump on both boobs at once. Tip for young players: pull the curtains first, lest your local builder pop in for a measure and quote.
Home-based working mums need to set boundaries between their paid and unpaid work. Just because you can access Google docs from under the duvet, or cook dinner while completing a spreadsheet, doesn’t mean you should.
This month Forbes published these seven tips for purposeful home-office workers: 1. Learn something new every day. 2. Leave the house. 3. Take a holiday. 4. Take yourself out to lunch to celebrate a win. 5. Be disciplined with your work schedule. 6. Stick to a daily routine to separate work life from home life. 7. Find your people – on Facebook, in a coworking space or networking group – to avoid isolation.
Unfortunately, my people are feral. One of my colleagues eats tinned fish for lunch every day, while the other is a notorious crotch-sniffer. If I tried to lean in, a la Sheryl Sandberg, the cat would fall off my lap and I’d step on the dog sleeping under my desk. A solitary working life can be a sedentary existence. Last week, while the kids were having a school holiday camp at their grandmother’s, I smashed out 3540 words about English damsons in 14 hours, and walked 232 steps.
That’s one trip to the chook run, three visits to the bog, four to the fridge and then to bed. Every hour, on the hour, my Fitbit had conniptions. ‘‘Feed Me’’, it implored on its LED screen. I shook my fist at it to shut it up. For a healthier home-office environment, entrepreneur.com recommends inventing a commute. Get up, go out, get coffee then come back home to work.
‘‘I often wonder if work isn’t something that the patriarchy invented to avoid childcare,’’ quipped commentator Simon Pound on RNZ’s
The Panel this week.
‘‘A really equal system would have the primary earner go to work at about 10am, after they’d helped with everything in the morning, and then get home at about 4pm to help with everything in the evening, as opposed to leaving when everything’s hard and coming home as a hero to read the bedtime story.’’
I played The Panel recording to my husband, who departs at 5.30am most mornings and doesn’t return home until dark. He chuckled, guiltily, then went to work.