My e-mazing e-scooter emergency escape
lawyer to say if someone is innocent or not. He was the one I said publicly was innocent. It was a sad case, but a good ending.’’
There is no doubt the job takes a toll and she gave up drinking years ago to help deal with the darker moments. She doesn’t have a problem drinking, but felt like there were better ways to cope with heavy crime.
The enduring joy comes from getting ‘‘good outcomes’’ for her clients, with the hope they will make good with whatever cards they have been dealt.
‘‘In those early days they would pop in and say ‘G’day Marie, just dropping in to say everything is all good’.’’
Other times she’ll see them at court. ‘‘I will say, ‘I hope you are just passing through’. They say, ‘Oh nah Marie, I’m just here for a mate, I’ve got six kids now!’
Her mind is already turning to next year – there’s at least one murder trial to prepare for.
She doesn’t discuss her age but insists she has not heard of the word ‘‘retirement’’.
For now, there are more Crown cases to crack, more clients to care for, and, as she was reminded on that crushing day in 1994, more ‘‘things to do’’.
Iwas excited. People were saying that it’s dangerous, saying it’s uncool, saying to wear protection – I didn’t believe any of it. I’m already one of those lame dads that bought a traditional ‘‘manual labour’’ push scooter to scoot with my big kid to school. But this new electric one sounded way cooler. I’d be the coolest guy on the pavement.
Electric transport seems perfect to me. It fits in with this whole clean, green thing we’re trying to push. So why are there people out there with their pitchforks sharpened, heckling abuse at these things? Yeah sure, ACC had a ‘‘spike’’ in electric scooter-related injuries. Well, it isn’t a spike – just the new normal. I’m sure when cars took over from horses and carriages there was a spike in carrelated injuries, too.
So, a clean green affordable alternative for getting from A to B – hell yeah! I’m in.
The occasion came when the missus and I went to pick up my biggest kid Mila from school. We walked: baby Nala in the pram ‘‘cooing’’ away and the 5-year-old-sized 3-year-old, Alba, reluctantly scootering behind us.
‘‘Why do I have to come, I’m tired,’’ Alba repeated for the entire 20-minute walk to school. We grabbed Mila and her traditional scooter, and we turned around to head home. Happy families.
‘‘But why couldn’t we drive!?’’ – relentless whines from Alba were ruining our stroll. Then all hell broke loose.
‘‘My shoe is making my legs too tired too scoot!’’ ‘‘Which shoe, Alba?’’ I asked.
‘‘All of them’’ she replied.
Her feet were set in concrete and she didn’t want to scoot anymore.
Blow me down. I looked across the street and there she was: His tall, green and white, slender looking piece of machinery, standing in the shade on the corner.
A beautiful e-scooter thing for hire. Like a prostitute of transportation.
My wife gave me a roll-her-eyes look without actually rolling her eyes. No physical rolling of the eyes meant GO FOR IT!
I sprinted across the road before some millennial had the chance to grab it, signed up to the app quick and easy, started her up, and she purred like . . . nothing. Electric silent bliss.
Alba stood toward the front, I had room at the back and we were off. In both electric, and child, silence. (Terms and conditions probably say something like ‘‘one person only’’ but this was an emergency!)
We zoomed home, keeping up with Miss 5 and her now, way less cool, non-electric scooter. Distant mumbled yells coming from my wife, ‘‘slow down’’.
Zoom! Made it home – mission accomplished. What an amazing invention.
But then it occurred to me.
These things are only designed for short trips. Short trips for which we would usually walk, scoot, or ride a bike. Activities which get us moving. These things aren’t going to get people off the road. They’re just going to make us fatter.
But bugger me, we will be cool-fat.
#ScooterDad
I started her up, and she purred like . . . nothing. Electric silent bliss.