It’s a crime that it’s continuing

read this – I’ve been asked to comply and #ProtectTheSecrets.

But in truth, the secrets this time around, are less impressive and I reckon the marketing is aimed at hiding the one truly horrific secret – the latest film from JK Rowling’s pen isn’t very good.

It gets worse – this is only the second film of five derived from what was a spinoff book that was more journal than densely plotted novel.

The problem with Fantastic Beasts 2: The Maddening (not its actual title) is that it gets tied up in its own world, starts talking only to its own and not the average Muggle who’s not that keen on every throwback; it presents a case for not continuing a franchise that’s more about satiating the masses than really creating something for cinematic eternity.

Character arcs feel unformed with one twist feeling unearned and emotionally underwhelming, demanding you appreciate them because you met them in the last film, rather than for their own journey. And for a film whose subtitle is The Crimes of Grindelwald, Grindelwald carries out scant crimes – although given the uproar of Johnny Depp’s casting as the veiled Trumpian baddie, some may strongly disagree.

Depressingly, it won’t matter. Masses will flock to it, sitting in their seats clutching their wands, and Expecto Patronuming their popcorn away.

But in truth, Fantastic Beasts needs to deliver more of a case for being fantastic and less of an ill-conceived, thinly veiled cash grab to extend a dying franchise.

Elsewhere, nine seasons in, The Walking Dead (TVNZ OnDemand) shambles on after its lead Rick Grimes has left. The latest episode’s not a major rallying cry, but it’s intriguing enough to see where the series may go next.

And talking of departing leads, Robert Redford’s apparent cinematic swansong, The Old Man And the Gun, is a rolling true-life gentle cat-and-mouse tale worth catching.