Ocean and river cruises different beasts
Buffets, bingo and the blue-rinse brigade. Cruises are same-same, right? Wrong. As the cruise tourism industry has grown over the past decade it has been keen to differentiate itself.
And while there is an in-the-know difference between ocean cruise lines (don’t put the Carnival crew up against die-hard Norwegian fans), the most stark change is between the ships that sail between ocean ports and those that drift in a leisurely way down a body of water.
So what are the main differences?
Size matters
Due to guest numbers in the hundreds rather than the thousands, your excursion options aboard a river cruise are likely to be more limited compared to the sometimes dozens of options you have when you embark on an island port cruise.
Thankfully, with fewer guests, cabins tend to be of a similar size for the respective budget price point, although more money will get you more space on an ocean liner.
All those amenities
If I laid down in the ‘‘gym’’ upon the river cruise I’m now on, I could touch both ends of the capsule. It’s not even a fitness room. It’s a dark box with a treadmill and a cross-trainer in it.
And that’s all.
Of course, I’m not aboard a ship to work out, but it’s an embodiment of the wider problem: limited space.
Morning yoga is done in the breakfast room, there are fewer and smaller public places, and decks are in the singular.
Can you see what I see?
Days at sea are times to bust out the binoculars, right? Nope. On an ocean cruise, it’s hard to see much but endless sea. Which is lovely – for the first 15 minutes.
River cruisers love their itineraries because they can properly see their destinations change before their eyes.
The Danube, Rhine, Nile and Douro get guests closer to the landscapes in the brochures for longer, rather than a fleeting port visit, where you wake up to a new view every day.
Let’s park here
One downside of the river cruising life is the port option for where your ship may dock.
Ocean cruises skip from seaside city to seaside city, but river-going boats have dropped me in some remote locales. As we float up Portugal’s Douro River we are frequently docking at places I would diplomatically describe as ‘‘agrarian’’, with wine estates and restaurants well out of walking distance.
Age is but a number
The marketing rush to reinvent ocean cruises as a holiday option for the young hasn’t quite reached the river cruise segment of the market.
Whether it’s because of the usually calm sailing conditions or the lack of beaches and sunbathing, they are for the (ahem) much older human.
That’s fine, but you’re unlikely to find a bar aboard open past midnight.