Sad irony of this season’s meaning

I have witnessed the sheer bloody-minded, determined hard work of all my colleagues this year. And, yes, we have seen some wha¯ nau flourish. So why does it feel like we are just tinkering at the edges and the evidence continues to point to the lack of moving our tamariki forward into demonstrable healthier futures?

My disquiet is that our kids suffer most in our society, and in our world as a whole. And these hurt kids grow up to be hurt adults. And so the cycle stays on repeat.

We are leaving so many wha¯ nau behind. I have to ask myself, am I part of the problem? Am I contributing to these struggles?

And we are all about to ‘‘celebrate’’ the birth of a child. Even as a metaphor of hope, this seems such a long long way from the reality. And I can’t help feeling the deep contrast between the aspiration of the time of year and the harsh reality for so many of our kids and their wha¯ nau.

I’ve been getting lots of messages and emails from you over the past few months about challenges you and your wha¯ nau have been facing especially at the interface of Oranga Tamariki and child and adolescent mental health services.

The situation of one wha¯ nau in O¯ tautahi is a real case in point.

Let’s call Mum, Whaea, and our rangatahi, Tama. Whaea has given me permission to share the broad issues they are facing.

Tama is whangai, he has been taken in by this wha¯ nau from a very young age. Fair to say, the situation has not been a bed of roses.

Tama has been a challenging young person from the get-go and the wha¯ nau have struggled to get the support they need from services.

Whaea shared her struggles with me, her pain and deep frustration at trying to advocate for her boy. I have tried to support by linking my contacts at Oranga Tamariki, too.

This Christmas, Tama and his Whaea remain in an unresolved, painful state of fear and isolation.

So that’s where my thoughts are. As a society we give our kids the equivalent of sh .... plastic toys. Short term, breakable tokens that cannot deliver the loving connections they need.

This is not about beating up our services. This is about our tamariki mokopuna being tu¯ puna, ancestors of the future. How might we organise our communities differently if we embraced that idea?

However it is for you and yours on Tuesday, take it easy on yourselves.

He taonga te mokopuna.

Every child is precious