Hinemoa Elder

It’s that time of year and I feel conflicted. The pressure to consume is epic. There is this obscene outpouring of ‘‘gifts’’ many of them made from material that is not biodegradable.

How on earth is all the plastic crap even legal? Many of these toys will end up in landfill, and won’t degrade for the next thousand years.

The celebration itself frankly doesn’t fit with our weather, let alone with our cultures. Please, don’t judge me though, I’m no grinch.

The part that does appeal to me is about focusing on kids. But let’s be real, our society is not kid-friendly.

Could you write a societal plan that is more toxic for tamariki mokopuna wellbeing?

The easiest to find and most highly promoted food and drink make our kids unhealthy and contributes to them feeling sad, anxious and angry. We have learning environments that for the most part are organised as if everyone learns more or less the same way. We have limited resources for those who don’t fit the learning mould and we collude with values that judge and bully anyone who doesn’t fit in. Our society promotes structural shaming and violence.

How did we design a system to make young people feel disenfranchised, so disconnected from the youngest age?

We don’t teach about relationships and intimacy. We blame parents and grandparents rather than providing meaningful healing for intergenerational trauma. We don’t teach our history. Healthy roles are perceived by so many as unattainable, any potential participation and influence is seen as beyond their reach.

What really disturbs me is that I know so many of us work to improve this situation for our kids.

Much of the time I find myself focusing on what is working well. But there are times I really question where all this good work goes, or what it really achieves when our kids continue to experience such a range of difficulties.