Danielle McLaughlin

There is nothing like being home with a newborn baby for six weeks to make a trip to the doctor in December feel like you’re going out for dinner and the Rockettes. I felt this way on Thursday, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day. I took the subway to the Upper East Side. I had somehow managed to blow-dry my hair before escaping the house, sans baby. And a cheery man with a trumpet was playing Winter Wonderland on the 6 train’s downtown platform. Close enough.

Christmas is nearly upon us, and this week many of us are gunning for the ‘‘nice list’’. My three-year-old is holding out for an Elsa doll. I’m hoping that the Dow Jones doesn’t drop any further, and that Russia doesn’t invade Ukraine (also, some running gear for my post-baby body would be nice). After all, who wants to be on the naughty list? A piece of coal in your stocking isn’t any use, unless you’ve got a way to compress it into a diamond.

Mulling over Santa’s quagmire on the 6 train, I decided to help the old guy out. It was not for a lack of column options, but considering there are nearly eight billion people in the world, it seemed to me that Santa could use some help whittling down his gift list.

Sadly, the naughty list was eminently easier to compile.

Topping the list is Vladimir Putin, who is waging asymmetric warfare against America (and, frankly, the liberal world order) and has cunningly managed to trick the American president into aiding his war effort.

Ben Carson – the brain surgeon turned presidential candidate turned Trump’s