Lauaki: the pain is still there
Former Warriors hard man Epalahame Lauaki opens up on footy, his mental health struggles, and living with the tragic loss of his All Blacks brother, two years on.
Sione Lauaki died two years ago this week at 35 from renal failure, just 12 years after he made his All Blacks debut. The shock of his passing hit younger brother Epalahame Lauaki hard, who had spent his entire life looking up to his ‘‘superhero’’ brother. Now, he was gone.
On top of some mental health struggles he was already dealing with, the passing of the former Chiefs enforcer pushed Epalahame Lauaki over the edge and derailed his professional rugby league career.
Lauaki walked out on his UK Super League contract early, and headed home in 2017 citing personal reasons, after learning of his brother’s deteriorating health.
Upon arriving home he officially retired from rugby league and in the middle of battling his own depression, lost his brother – and best friend – just weeks later.
‘‘I was in a real dark place for a while there, and it made me realise what’s truly important,’’ he said.
‘‘I was lucky in that I got to spend some time with him [Sione] when I got home before his passing and I will always treasure those moments. Two years on, it really doesn’t seem that long ago man.’’
‘‘It never heals, but coming home and being around family, just everyone supporting each other, has been a massive help through this period. For everyone,’’ he said.
Both Sione and Epalahame Lauaki loved rugby and rugby league, always had.
‘‘Basically anything where we got to smash into each other or other people, we loved,’’ he said.
On the field they were stars from an early age, and inspired one another to be the best they could be.
It had always been that way, so after Sione’s passing, one of the hardest things for the youngest brother to deal with was the idea of getting back on the field. Without the support his biggest influence ‘‘and inspiration’’.
Sport had always bonded the Lauakis and without his older brother around, it wasn’t something he was interested in anymore.
With the support of his family, his energy instead went into finding another job.
He landed a new career in the mental health sector, mentoring young men for social service provider Vaka Tautua. ‘‘It doesn’t even feel like work to me, I really love it and while I was playing footy it was never anything I planned on doing but, I couldn’t see myself doing anything else now.’’
But despite a good career and supportive home life, there was still something missing.
‘‘I just love footy and I always wanted to get back to playing but I never thought I’d be able to lace up again after Sione’s passing,’’ he said.
A friend convinced the big front-rower to head down to a training session at the brothers’ junior club, the Glenora Bears, in west Auckland.
‘‘I didn’t want to go. I sat and watched the first session, never really planned on getting involved, but after about five minutes I was out playing touch with the boys. And looked back.’’
While his professional playing days might be over, the former Warrior remains a staple of the Auckland club scene and a fan favourite out west.
He carries on his brother’s legacy each time he pulls on the blue-and-white jumper, he said.
‘‘I love being back playing where me and my brother started,’’ he said.
‘‘The boys, the management and the fans, there is a real brotherhood here and I play for him [Sione] every time I run out.’’
Coupled with his mental health work, Lauaki has become a leader in the local community – a far cry from the brutal enforcer he was as a professional league player.
Junior players and local kids look up to him, not only because he played 69 NRL matches, but because he is a constant voice of support to anyone in the side in need of guidance, he said.
‘‘People say I’m a bit of a leader, that’s cool, it’s a long way from where I was a few years a go,’’ he said.
‘‘When I was with the Warriors and in the UK I was just that big angry dude you know, but nowadays I like to think I have levelled out a bit, and that shows through my footy and especially my home life.
‘‘I’m in a good place. Finally.’’ Now 34, Lauaki will go around ‘‘one more time’’ and attempt to bring the Fox Memorial Trophy back to Glenora for the second time in three years.
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