Fans should let tears and voices flow

Sport, like a manipulative lover, has toyed with our affections this week. England rugby coach Eddie Jones and the like had a laugh, messing with our minds during the World Cup media conferences. Fans absorbed it like a needy sponge. Unlike them, we don’t have a mental skills coach, or even an emotional support animal, to help us deal with it. This is why I’ve been preparing an emergency mind-kit.

Right now there’s a chance the country is behaving like a badly setscrum, the threat of collapsing in on itself a real and present danger. Of course, your headache may also be caused by wild celebrations, in which case you may think you don’t need my help, but beware yee hung-over braggarts, there is another week to go and that bravado will soon wear off.

One team still unsure of their fate are Wales – the only other country whose national wellbeing temperature is taken on a rugby field. Their coping mechanisms mirror our own. Olivia from south Wales will be heading home from London for the match against South Africa and is approaching the holiest of days in Welsh history like defrocked priest.

‘‘I will be in a pub with my presumably miserable English partner – assuming they lose – eating a fry-up, singing at the top of my lungs, and crying whether they win or lose, along with the rest of the country.’’ Sound familiar?

We rugby tragics fall into this beersoaked psychological trap before every game and it reaches crisis point every four years. It’s time to turn the tables on our own brains and think like elite athletes. The following brain guru info will apply no matter what the result last night.

‘‘Stress is caused by being here but wanting to be there,’’ says spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle. He’s not talking about the pub. This is a mental state and is all about being in the moment. Some of you may be pleased it is no longer Saturday night, others may already be stressing about next week. Focus instead on the coffee or soothing cup of tea in your hand, if your eyes are actually able to focus, or even open.

Because as author Robert Eliot said: ‘‘Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule two is, it’s all small stuff. And if you can’t fight and you can’t flee, flow.’’

I know what you’re thinking, obviously Rob didn’t follow rugby, or he would know there is no small stuff, only big stuff and we sweat buckets over it, take days off because of it, and put a dent in our GDP. I like what he says about flow though. Flow back to bed, or the park, or anywhere there are no sharp objects.

However, many of us over-analyse and get caught up in the details that really don’t matter. It’s only sport, not life or death, apparently. New age author Deepak Chopra says: ‘‘In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past but you will find yourself.’’ What he’s saying is, if you’re lucky, you will be able to block out things such as say, losing a semi or final, and therefore find yourself in a happy place where there is no talkback radio.

Chopra also said that: ‘‘Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.’’ Guys, it’s okay to cry. Just let it out. It’s what Olivia will be doing in south Wales. ‘‘Singing and in tears whatever the result!’’

Please feel free to use this opportunity to practise our anthem. I find it all little sad that the Japanese fans can sing God Defend New Zealand better than we can. Singing has also been proven to lift spirits, as long as you don’t sing any Coldplay or Radiohead.

Kiwi psychiatrist Dr Ceri Evans helped build resilience in the All Blacks and we must do the same, move the focus off the outcome and focus on the challenge. If that fails, crying is a good option. Or remembering that we have far more to be grateful for than Australian rugby.

Singing has also been proven to lift spirits, as long as you don’t sing any Coldplay or Radiohead.