Small businesses and social media pile-ons
Words have always had power, but it’s particularly true for small business owners in the age of social media, when words can make or break everything they’ve worked so hard for. Paul Mitchell reports.
Small businesses live and die on their reputations, and when a mistake or an offended customer’s complaint goes viral on social media it can unleash a torrent of abuse and tank review ratings, that took months or years to build up, in a matter of hours.
It can be almost impossible to predict what will set off a damaging controversy. Whether it’s a cafe owner frustrated by dirty nappies dumped in their toilets, inadvertently offending parents, or a horse-trek operator on trial by social media because an internet sleuth decided a horse was abused, based on a single photo.
But the right words, and an unqualified apology, can go a long way towards nipping outrage in the bud or at least limit the damage to a business’ reputation, PR and communications expert
Bob Selden said.
Selden said people often make the mistake of justifying themselves or offering reasons for their actions, which only gives their critics more to argue against.
An issue blows up because it stirs strong emotions, so the best thing a business owner faced with that can do is see things from the other perspective and offer an unadorned apology.
‘‘You can be as rational, reasonable, and right as you like, but it won’t help until you deal with the emotions.’’
The trouble Palmerston North cafe Barley had last week was a prime example of that, Selden said.
After having problems with parents leaving dirty nappies on the bathroom floor, or clogging the toilet with them, Barley owner Matt McNelis posted a sign in the bathroom reading:
‘‘This is not a nappy changing station. If you require those facilities, The Plaza will be able to accommodate you much better. Just remember the people who have to clean that mess are the same people who serve you food.’’
It offended some parents, who shared their complaints on Facebook and within three hours Barley’s own page was flooded with comments and 30 negative reviews from those outraged by the sign.
‘‘His anger and frustration come through in the wording, and that’s what people were reacting to . . . the last sentence sounds like a parent talking to a naughty child,’’ Selden said.
Selden said it would have been better to phrase the sign as a request for help dealing with a problem, and clarified staff would still help dispose of dirty nappies if parents couldn’t make it to the nearby mall. McNelis’ defensive responses only fuelled the fire, when an apology for causing offence would have drained the bitterness from the discussion, he said.
Sometimes, a business owner would decide they could not apologise without compromising their values.
Like Viv’s Kitchen did in 2018, when a customer at the Manawatu¯ cafe complained that the only nappychanging station was in the ladies’ bathroom, and not having one available in the men’s or a unisex facility made things awkward for dads. The cafe sparked widespread outrage by responding: ‘‘At Viv’s Kitchen we endeavour to create an atmosphere of times gone by when mums were the ones who changed their babies . . .’’ The owners Viv and Kevan Withers unapologetically stuck to their guns despite the storm of personal insults and negative reviews.
‘‘It was not nice at all, it took me down really bad . . . [but] we’re entitled to our own views,’’ Viv Withers told the Sunday Star-Times this week.
‘‘We put our heart and soul into our businesses, and we have the right to decide how to run it.’’
The couple are proud of their cafe, Viv’s Kitchen has a consistently high Tripadvisor rating, and the review site has listed the Sanson cafe as one of the best in the country several times, she said.
At the height of the controversy the cafe went from a 5-star to a zero-star rating overnight and it took time to build it back up.
Withers says she doesn’t regret how they handled the situation.
The couple chose the cafe’s retro theme because the 1950s were a time that reflected their values, before the world went mad with political correctness, she said.
Withers says they didn’t mind losing customers over those beliefs, and there’d been plenty of others who chose to support the cafe for standing by them.
But Selden said that approach wasn’t going to win anyone over.
If a business owner states their position politely and respectfully, they can still minimise hard feelings and potentially gain almost as many customers as they lose by appealing to people who share their views.
And while the right words are powerful, words alone aren’t always enough.
Kirsty Lalich of Nelson almost closed her horse and pony trek business, Wild Oats Farm, last year, due to the stress and anxiety after online vilification.
She decided to keep the business running after one of her riding students reminded Lalich she always taught them to never give in to bullies, no matter what.
Facebook community group Nelson Snippets shared a photo of one of Lalich’s ponies, Heine, with its ribs showing. The post asked if it was acceptable for a horse to look ‘‘like a skeleton’’ prompting hundreds of people to label Lalich an animal abuser, and to threaten and abuse her.
Lalich had nothing to apologise for, and tried to explain Heine was healthy but old, and older horses struggle to maintain weight even with proper care, but it didn’t help.
Some of the accusers even refused to stop or apologise after a veterinarian and the SPCA both confirmed the animals were all healthy and well-cared for.
Veterinarian Roger Bay said it was impossible to judge a horse’s health from a photograph and since Tasman had been through a drought that summer, horses all over the district were in a lean condition.
‘‘That fact wasn’t taken into consideration, even by some people who should’ve known that and known better,’’ Lalich said.
‘‘Nobody stopped to think . . . it was just a torrent of abuse.’’
Selden says Lalich took a positive, assertive approach by bringing in trusted experts to back her up, and it was the best thing she could’ve done.
People were reacting viscerally to that photo. Words couldn’t get through until the concern for the pony and the anger and disgust people who mistreat animals provoke was addressed, Selden said.