‘He had me wrapped around his little finger’
A prominent New Zealand musician's two decades of grooming and exploiting vulnerable young women – including a teenager from a top girls' school – is revealed after women like Jenny Thomas come forward with their harrowing tales.
A prominent musician is accused of sexual misconduct with his students – including a high-school teenager – over a span of 20 years. Auckland University now faces questions over the way it handled a complaint from a former student, who claims James Tibbles groomed and exploited vulnerable young women for sex. Alison Mau reports.
In December 2020, the head of Auckland University’s music school was called to a meeting to answer allegations of serious sexual misconduct, lodged against him by a former student. James Tibbles resigned on the spot. Now, a Sunday Star-Times investigation can reveal Tibbles resigned in almost identical circumstances from an exclusive Auckland girls’ school two decades earlier; that time, he was questioned about an inappropriate relationship with a teenaged student at St Cuthbert’s College.
In both cases, by resigning, Tibbles avoided being further questioned about his behaviour; both institutions telling complainants there was no more they could legally do.
In the 20 years between those two resignations, Tibbles is accused of targeting a number of vulnerable women, including teenaged students.
The women allege Tibbles:
● Wrote a St Cuthbert’s College student love letters, then convinced his colleagues she was at fault.
● Initiated sex with an 18-year-old student at Auckland University in 2004, months after her mother had died of cancer.
● Brought an adult student from Europe to stay with him for two months in 2017, initiating sexual acts with her while she was dependent on him for food, accommodation and training.
● Messaged and called a music student in 2012 late at night, prompting her parents to confront him.
● Messaged a student in 2018 ‘‘day and night’’, asked what she wore in bed, and asked her to go on a road trip with him.
The women the Star-Times interviewed believe St Cuthbert’s College and Auckland University abandoned their duty of care to students and allowed others to be targeted by letting Tibbles off the hook.
St Cuthbert’s admitted in a statement this week it handled the complaint poorly and said it was “deeply sorry” for the distress and ongoing devastating impact on its former student. The University of Auckland said it had investigated and made a finding of serious misconduct against Tibbles, but he resigned during the course of the investigation so no further disciplinary action was possible.
It said it deeply regretted the harm caused during his time at the university.
Jenny Thomas and Sara O’Brien have never met in person. Thomas, a musician, lives in Europe; O’Brien is an Auckland-based marketing professional. Nevertheless, the two women have learned more about the painful parts of each other’s pasts than many of their closest friends know.
In a video call from her home in Eastern Europe, Thomas mentally winds back the clock to examine her 17-year-old self. She’d graduated from a private girls’ school a year ahead of her friends, and despite having already shown huge musical talent at school, she remembers lacking confidence as she looked for university options in 2004.
When told about the University of Auckland’s early music course, she signed up for a minor in fortepiano. She claims the teacher – renowned baroque and classical music specialist James Tibbles – largely ignored her at first, turning up to ‘‘about half’’ her lessons.
In the winter of 2004, Thomas’ mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and Thomas put her studies on hold as she
helped nurse her mother at home, until her death in early 2005. She says that several weeks later, still crippled by grief, she went to see Tibbles to ask if she should resume her studies.
Later, Thomas would be diagnosed with PTSD from the trauma of her mother’s illness, but at the time, she did not realise the physical affect her grief had wrought.
‘‘I was suffering from panic attacks and flashbacks, and I had lost half my bodyweight.’’
Tibbles was immediately different with her, she claims.
‘‘He’d barely given me the time of day before. And [then] he made some comment about my appearance, about what I was wearing. I just remember feeling surprised.’’
Tibbles pushed her to resume her studies, she says, giving her ‘‘double’’ the number of lessons other students were getting. That included late-night sessions in which they worked on maintaining eye contact, which he said was important for her career as a musician. At one of those sessions, he kissed her.
‘‘I just remember my stomach dropping. I’d seen him in a parent role, as a guardian. It felt like this vaguely incestuous thing, to be crossing that boundary.’’
Thomas says the kiss, and the sexual relationship that followed, was technically a consensual one. Years later she came to understand her emotional state at the time, combined with the power imbalance between student and teacher, meant she would have been unlikely to say no to him.
‘‘He did stop and check (but) he had me wrapped around his little finger at that stage. I was totally dependent on him for my studies. I was living for this music by then.’’
Thomas says this was her first-ever intimate experience. Tibbles was 46.
In the opinion of clinical psychologist and executive director of Auckland HELP, Kathryn McPhillips, Tibbles crossed moral as well as professional boundaries.
‘‘There’s a social pact . . . that we don’t take advantage of people in a weakened state, because we know people [in that state] don’t make good decisions.’’
McPhillips believes Tibbles’ behaviour fits a ‘‘predator/perpetrator’’ profile where ‘‘perfect victims’’ are chosen.
‘‘It’s the classic ‘making a victim’ scenario. He’s been drawn to her in some way, he’s probably drawn to vulnerability, she’s not going to protest, she’s not going to tell, and if she tells she’s not going to be believed.’’
Emails and messages between Thomas and Tibbles show the relationship continued for four years; Thomas says most of the encounters took place on campus at night. Tibbles would regularly cover the windows of the music room with cardboard, to prevent staff from seeing them together, she claims.
On one occasion in 2006, Thomas cried as she told him her father had just been diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer.
‘‘I was sobbing, saying I was really scared. He initiated sex while I was crying.’’
Tibbles encouraged her to stop grief counselling sessions with a University of
Auckland counsellor when he realised their relationship could be discussed, she claims, telling her ‘‘you absolutely can’t do that’’.
Thomas withdrew from the sessions, with Tibbles finding ‘‘a friend of his wife’’ for her to see instead.
Thomas moved to Europe for further study in 2009. Evidence viewed by the Star-Times shows Tibbles wanted the relationship to continue, sending her sexually explicit emails, videos and images – but Thomas claims that ‘‘within a few weeks’’ she began to see how inappropriate it had been. ‘‘It was like waking up from a bad dream.’’
She says she struggled for years with the effects, and in 2018, wrote to Tibbles to confront him. In a letter seen by the StarTimes, Tibbles replied, admitting he had been wrong.
‘‘Reading your letter has forced me to acknowledge and come to terms with realities I had not previously recognised, and I now see that our relationship was fundamentally inappropriate, and damaging’’ the letter reads.
Tibbles admits Thomas was ‘‘not in a position to give consent’’ and that the relationship was ‘‘inappropriate, unhealthy and negative’’.
Thomas lodged a complaint with University of Auckland in October 2020, and now knows a string of other students feel they were targeted by Tibbles, including one who says her experience took place months after he wrote of his regret at his ‘‘inexcusable’’ behaviour.
A decade before Jenny Thomas’ mother died, St Cuthbert’s College schoolgirl Sara O’Brien’s young life was fast falling apart. O’Brien dryly recalls her 13-year-old self as ‘‘an unfit match for the school’’ and its rules, which she found restrictive and pedantic. Although a capable student, she suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, and was often in trouble.
‘‘One area where I didn’t have any trouble was music. It was my passion.’’
Around that time, O’Brien began one-onone lessons at school with Tibbles. O’Brien says that from the start, she loved the way the music teacher treated her ‘‘like a regular person’’.
‘‘There was none of this ‘oh here comes Sara, the bad girl’. I relied heavily on him because I knew this (music) was something I really wanted to do, and nothing else made sense.’’
Tibbles ‘‘made me part of his family’’, she says, but she does not recall realising the relationship was unusual, until the day as a 16-year-old he told her he loved her. O’Brien says she was particularly vulnerable at the time.
‘‘My friend and flute teacher had passed away. I was devastated, and I became very depressed.’’
At the end of her final lesson before exams, Tibbles made an unexpected admission.
‘‘He held my hand and declared his love for me, insisting it was a secret [and] that no-one else could know.’’
A day later he came to her class with ‘‘music I had forgotten’’, she says. Inside the leaves of sheet music, was a letter.
‘‘I can’t believe I was actually brave enough to actually say those words . . . or even admit them silently to myself,’’ Tibbles’ letter reads.
‘‘I guess you know what the word LOVE means. I’m still shaking every time I think of you.’’ The letter is typed, but at the bottom, written in pen, are the words ‘‘burn this!’’
The effect on O’Brien was immediate, she says. Her mental health spiralled, and she began to have suicidal thoughts. Documents seen by the Sunday Star-Times show Tibbles wrote to O’Brien’s parents presenting himself as a concerned friend, gave them a book about child suicide, and, knowing that O’Brien desperately wanted a harpsichord, offered one worth tens of thousands of dollars on permanent loan.
At the same time, he began to pressure O’Brien to stay quiet, she claims.
O’Brien’s parents found Tibbles’ letters to their daughter and contacted CCAFS (now Oranga Tamariki). In a letter to the O’Briens, a CCAFS worker expresses alarm at the ‘‘transgression by James Tibbles of professional staff-student boundaries’’ and says CCAFS ‘‘have raised this concern with the school’’.
‘‘We are concerned that this issue needs to be addressed given that James works with girls, including Sara, and wishes to continue to work with girls. To ensure the safety of Sara and others it is vital that James is accountable for his actions,’’ the letter reads.
On July 4, Tibbles took Sara out of school and drove her to an office at the University of Auckland, where he was working part-time.
‘‘He told me I would lose my chance to study at Auckland University. Did I want to ruin his life? Was I going to break apart his family? Did I want him to lose his job, his career, his standing in the music community?’’
The O’Briens lodged a formal complaint with St Cuthbert’s College on July 23, but Sara O’Brien says Tibbles remained at the school for a week and repeatedly pressured her to drop the complaint.
Documents show he also wrote to O’Brien’s parents claiming the ‘‘love’’ he had expressed was platonic, and described himself as ‘‘a Christian person of high moral values’’.
The relief O’Brien initially felt once her parents intervened did not last long. She says staff members close to Tibbles, including head of music Dr Graham McPhail, were openly hostile to her, and blamed her for their colleague’s suspension. ‘‘He told me how ashamed I should be of myself.’’
McPhillips told the Star-Times that research shows telling others the targeted person has lied or is manipulative is another common behaviour of the ‘‘predator/perpetrator’’.
Responding to questions from the StarTimes, McPhail said he did not recall making the comments to O’Brien and would consider them inappropriate.
He said Tibbles had told him ‘‘nothing about his relationship with Sara’’, he had not discussed the situation with other staff, and that he had found out about the love letter only after Tibbles resigned.
‘‘I think what occurred was seen as a gross/stupid error of judgement on James’ part to send an inappropriate letter to Sara.’’
However, McPhail told the Star-Times he then wrote a ‘‘very supportive’’ letter of recommendation to Auckland University when Tibbles applied for a lectureship there around 12 months later.
He told the Star-Times if he had ‘‘had more information about what occurred’’ he would have responded differently, but admitted that if the university had known why Tibbles left St Cuthbert’s it may have made a difference to his appointment.
A message thread between O’Brien and McPhail after Tibbles’ resignation from Auckland University in December 2020 reads: ‘‘[m]y trust has been misplaced. When you are close to someone it’s hard to see the truth I guess.’’
Dr McPhail, now a senior lecturer in music education at Auckland University, told O’Brien: ‘‘I would do it differently now.’’
O’Brien claims the St Cuthbert’s principal at the time, Lynda Reid, also failed to properly support her after her parents’ formal complaint. Despite seeing Tibbles’ letters, Reid suggested in an internal memo to O’Brien’s mother in September 1998 that mediation was the ‘‘best chance of clearing the air and ridding ourselves of the doubts and confusions we are all operating in’’.
Decades later, O’Brien still has questions for her former principal.
‘‘Why was there no public announcement of the reasons for his resignation?
‘‘We were left to field questions and abuse from staff, parents and kids, without the backing of the school.’’
Reid, who left the school in 2016, declined to answer questions about the way O’Brien’s case was handled, telling the Star-Times a statement issued by the school ‘‘can be treated as being a statement from me as well’’.
The college’s statement acknowledges the harm done to Sara O’Brien in the 1990s, and condemns Tibbles’ ‘‘appalling and unacceptable sexual conduct’’ and the school’s decision to keep it quiet.
‘‘We absolutely and unreservedly apologise to Ms O’Brien and her family for the distress and devastating ongoing impact caused to them by what happened. We can only imagine how difficult it is for Ms O’Brien to come forward. We commend her courage in doing so, and thank her for giving us permission to make a public apology.
‘‘While we do understand that the college made genuine efforts to address what happened at the time, we acknowledge that the college’s
‘‘There’s a social pact . . . that we don’t take advantage of people in a weakened state, because we know people [in that state] don’t make good decisions.’’ Kathryn McPhillips, right Clinical psychologist and executive director of Auckland HELP
investigation in 1998 and subsequent actions were not good enough, and did not put Ms O’Brien or her welfare at the centre of decision-making. We are deeply sorry for this.
‘‘What happened at St Cuthbert’s should not have been kept confidential, and we would handle allegations of this nature very differently today. St Cuthbert’s has robust child protection policies in place to support the safety of our students, and if this situation arose today, we would immediately notify the appropriate authorities and ensure the ongoing care and safety of our student.’’
O’Brien lasted just a few more months at the school in 1998, eventually withdrawn by her parents, after she and a group of others were questioned about drug use.
She had assumed since her early teens she would have a career in music, but now found she could not play – and after studying for a brief time at Waikato University, she gave it up altogether.
The normally calm and composed 39-year-old becomes emotional when she talks about losing music.
‘‘It was just poisoned for me, the whole idea of it. Now I will play the piano occasionally but it’s tinged with a lot of things. I might play a piece that I played when I was 15, and I’ll struggle through it. I feel upset that that was taken from me.’’
Jenny Thomas, who now works as a freelance musician, writer and editor, knew her career prospects depended on staying on good terms with Tibbles. She says she did her best to ‘‘maintain a collegial relationship’’, including performing with him from time to time. The last of those performances was in March 2017.
Thomas says that in 2018, ‘‘a new perspective’’ led her to write the letter that prompted Tibbles’ admission of guilt.
‘‘At that point, I finally felt able to risk burning my bridges with James in order to make him aware of the damage he’d done years earlier.’’
Much like Sara O’Brien, Thomas says Tibbles’ actions had lasting effects on her relationship with music. In her six-page complaint to Auckland University, she describes the early music instruments taught by Tibbles are now ‘‘tainted’’ for her.
Her complaint explains how family support and years of counselling had made her strong enough to see the complaint process through.
‘‘This is the absolute earliest I could have undertaken this process,’’ she says in the document.
In December 2020, news of Tibbles’ resignation began to spread through music networks. Sara O’Brien was told about it by a contact and had a hunch about the complaint’s origin, deciding to email Jenny Thomas in Europe. In January 2021, she too laid a complaint with the university.
Thomas says the formal process sparked by her complaint seemed promising; Vicechancellor Dawn Freshwater appointed a committee to investigate, and Tibbles was suspended from his position as head of school.
In mid-December, Tibbles was invited to a meeting to allow him to respond to Thomas’ allegations. He resigned, effective immediately, and Thomas was told university policies meant the investigation could not continue.
The university said it had investigated Thomas’ complaint and a finding of serious misconduct was reached. It said the committee considering the matter concluded if not for his resignation it was highly likely he would have been dismissed.
‘‘However James Tibbles resigned and left the university during the course of the investigation, so no further disciplinary action was possible.’’
The university said it had relied on three ‘‘formal references’’, including from Dr McPhail, before appointing Tibbles in 2000 ‘‘as per the practice at the time’’.
‘‘Unless concerns were raised by a referee or a formal complaint made to the university . . . it could not be considered a factor in his appointment because we would be unaware of any concerns.’’
The university said it deeply regretted any harm Tibbles caused students.
The Star-Times has spoken to three other women and reviewed messages between them and Tibbles. All asked for anonymity, but are speaking up to support Thomas and
O’Brien.
One of them, a musician in her 30s, says she was suffering major depression, an eating disorder and a performance ‘‘crisis’’ when, at a music event in Europe in 2016, Tibbles offered to fly her to New Zealand for two months of intensive training. While she stayed in his family home in 2017, he arranged outings to nude beaches ‘‘where the expectation was that I would be naked with him’’ and booked a couples massage and spa sessions, the woman claims.
She says she ‘‘fell’’ into agreeing to some sexual acts with him as ‘‘the unspoken price I had to pay for his generosity’’. She claims that on one occasion, he became angry and stormed away when she rejected his advances.
In 2012, another of his students began to feel concerned about Tibbles’ ‘‘constant’’ messaging and phone calls.
‘‘At the end of my first year I was really depressed. I was medicated through the uni health services and he knew [all about that]. He positioned himself so I was dependent on him as this adult who knew what was going on and could look out for me,’’ the woman, who was 19 at the time, told the Sunday Star-Times.
The student said her parents became concerned and drove to Auckland to confront Tibbles.
Six years later, a second-year music student at Auckland University began to get messages from Tibbles ‘‘from the moment I woke up in the morning and until I fell asleep at night’’.
She says the teacher kept ‘‘emphasising the concept of ‘friendship’. At that time, stupidly, I really believed that he was just trying to be ‘friends’ as he insisted’’. The woman became alarmed when he asked her whether she shared her phone with family, then described their friendship as ‘‘unorthodox’’ but ‘‘necessary . . . in order to know each other more, so that I can assist you better to become more successful in your career.’’
The Star-Times has sighted messages sent to the student from Tibbles, asking her what she wore in bed and suggesting she sleep naked. When approached by the StarTimes, Tibbles cited privacy and ‘‘confidentiality obligations’’ and declined to answer a list of questions.
He gave the following statement:
‘‘I have made mistakes in my past and now know that my mistakes have hurt people. That was never my intention, and I am deeply sorry. I do not believe it is appropriate for me to discuss these matters in detail. To do so would breach confidences in relation to matters that are deeply personal to me and others. Having recognised my mistakes, I have retired from music teaching.’’ Speaking for the group of women, Thomas and O’Brien say they’re concerned Tibbles has been allowed to leave the university without the reasons being made public. A lobby group set up to tackle sexual harassment at tertiary institutions says this outcome is common. ‘‘Stop Sexual Harassment On Campus has long argued that perpetrators are able to escape punishment by going from university to university, and in this case within the education system,’’ says spokesperson, Professor Rhema Vaithianathan. ‘‘It’s not enough for chancellors to wear a cape and a gown and shake hands at graduations. ‘‘Chancellors need to step up and ask – are the staff and students at their universities safe?’’
‘‘We absolutely and unreservedly apologise to Ms O’Brien and her family for the distress and devastating ongoing impact caused to them by what happened.’’ Statement from St Cuthbert’s College