Vanessa puts two cards on Remembrance Tree
This year Vanessa Philp hung two cards on the Taranaki Hospice Remembrance Tree.
The first was a tribute to her only child, Jared Philp, who died in May aged 37 after a two year battle with bowel cancer.
‘‘I miss him more than you can possibly know. He filled a big space in my life,’’ she said.
Philp is a Taranaki Hospice nurse, but said it didn’t make looking after her son any easier.
‘‘I’m his mum and that was my dilemma. My colleagues cushioned me through this experience, allowing me to be Mum, and having that time with him as a mum. I didn’t have to do anything as a nurse.’’
Jared started to deteriorate around Christmas time, she said.
‘‘And I had to juggle whether to carry on with work or stay at home. He would say, ‘go to work Mum. It’s not time yet.’’
The Taranaki Hospice Remembrance Tree is up in Farmers in Centre City, New Plymouth. People make a donation, write a tribute to a loved one who has died and hang it on the tree.
Last year hospice raised $17,000 through the remembrance tree and organisers are hoping that figure will increase this year.
The tree tags are heartfelt messages, a hospice spokeswoman said. ‘‘And they are treated like that. When the tree is taken down on Christmas eve we’ll gather the tags together. We cremate them and the ashes are blessed and spread around the trees at Te Te Rangimarie.’’
The second card Philp put on the tree was for her sister, Iris Pickering-Bruce, who died four years ago, aged 50.
‘‘She left behind a husband and three children - two teenagers and a 7-year-old. I’m probably one of the strongholds in the family for the kids. I have a sense of purpose to carry on.’’
It’s been quite a journey, Philp said.
‘‘I love my job. I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else. But being at work does bring it all back. You kind of hold it, but it does make it more difficult because you’re always discussing things around cancer and death and dying.’’
The hospice model of care is holistic and cares for patients and their families, she said.
‘‘When I’m teaching I can bring it to the table. We’re not exempt from having this experience.
‘‘We bring our experience to our work to be able to empathise better with the people we look after.
‘‘You realise you are no different. We are all vulnerable.’’