Why it’s so hard to drink in moderation
Fed up of polishing off a whole bottle of vino when she only wanted a cheeky glass, British journalist Rosamund Dean decided to cut down – but found drinking in moderation harder than giving up altogether.
‘‘It’s hard because abstinence is just one decision, so you’ve decided that you don’t drink, ever,’’ Dean says.
‘‘Whereas, with moderation, every single day is a series of decisions, because you have to decide ‘Am I going to drink today? What am I going to drink? How much am I going to drink? What am I going to say to the person who is going to try and make me drink?’.
‘‘Each of those decisions is kind of an opportunity to slip-up and end up drinking too much.
‘‘There’s lots of science around the idea that decision-making depletes your brain,’’ Dean says.
‘‘If you have a busy job where you have to make lots of decisions all day, then go to the sandwich shop at lunchtime, you’re crippled with indecision. You’re paralysed and can’t decide what to have.
‘‘You get worn down by it, and also your self-control gets worn down. You’ve spent all day making decisions at work, resisting your colleagues’ chocolate, trying not to have a coffee or whatever... It’s a limited resource, unfortunately, self-control.
‘‘Once you’ve had one or two drinks, it’s more difficult to reach the ‘off-switch’. It’s hard to stop at one and two.’’
However, Dean says everyone has the power to break free from this pattern, and it’s all about changing your mindset. ‘‘Mindful’’ drinking means embracing the benefits like improved health and more money, so cutting down feels less like a deprivation.
Dr David Codyre, lead psychiatrist at the National Telehealth Service says: ‘‘I would say most people, most of the time, are not drinking ‘mindlessly’, but I think the notion of mindful drinking would be an unfamiliar one to most New Zealanders.’’
‘‘Most people, when they go out socially, will drink more than is good for them and would not really think about it. ‘Mindfulness’ is being conscious and aware of what we’re doing.’’
Dean was one of these people, and says she would open a bottle of wine every day after work, without thinking about it.
The book suggests trying 28 booze-free days to ‘‘reset’’. This gives you the space to practise mindfulness, such as identifying your motives for drinking and external pressures – be it weddings, a stressful day of deadlines, or your friend who really wants you to sip on ‘‘just one’’ glass of fizz.
Learning this ‘‘mindful’’ approach is the key to success.
‘‘Mindfulness is becoming more aware of your feelings in general... more aware of everything you’re doing. You can see clearly ‘I’m opening this bottle of wine out of habit but I don’t actually want it or need it’, and it really helps you change your behaviour.
‘‘You agree to a drink because everyone else is having one... that kind of drinking, that’s done without even giving it any thought, is the most dangerous kind.’’
Once you’ve done your 28 days, you can introduce booze back into your life, armed with a more alert mindset, knowing how to deal with potentially being derailed.
Dean also strongly advises the use of apps to monitor how much you’re consuming.
Also, slipping up is commonplace, so don’t beat yourself up over it if you do, she says.
For her, it took about six or seven years of trying to drink moderately.
If you also fear losing friends, there is no need to worry – none of Dean’s relationships were harmed in the penning of the book.
‘‘If I have a friend who I know always wants to drink a lot, then it’s just a case of planning. Before I see them I say ‘oh I’ve got an early meeting tomorrow so I can’t have a big one’.
‘‘Then I’ll have one or two drinks with them and just stop there. I’ll make sure our plan is to go to dinner or something where
'Most people, when they go out socially, will drink more than is good for them and would not really think about it.'
Dr David Codyre
we’re not just going to be sitting in the pub, basically.
‘‘My days of sitting in the pub are over.’’ ❚ Mindful Drinking , by Rosamund Dean, published by Hachette New Zealand. RRP $35, available now.