Victims of lower level violence delay getting help – refuge boss

It opened the public’s eyes to domestic violence but a famous Kiwi film could be hindering abuse victims from getting help.

The brutal bashings Jake Heke meted out to his wife Beth in the acclaimed 1994 movie Once Were Warriors are still referenced by people as a way to describe their childhood experiences of abuse.

But while the film raised awareness about the nation’s problem with family violence, the boss of Women’s Refuge, Dr Ang Jury, said it sometimes prevented people from seeking help.

She said the extreme force used in violent relationships, which resulted in serious injury and even death, doesn’t come from nowhere.

‘‘The reality is those sorts of events are only the culmination of a whole lot of stuff that has gone on before.’’

Jury said this can include emotional, pyschological or financial control along with sexual coercion.

‘‘Because there’s this focus on Once Were Warriors, people who experience the lower level stuff hesitate to get help.’’

Jury said this was a concern as it was often easier to intervene and help people at an earlier stage, when things started going wrong in relationships.

And just because there’s no bruises or blood, it doesn’t mean the impact was any less distressing.

She recalled a refuge client in her 60s, who had endured a 20-year relationship with a man who controlled her every move, including the amount of sex acts she had to perform on him in a given week.

The abuse was economic too – after the hot water cylinder broke, he refused to fix it. It left the house without any hot water for eight months.

‘‘There is nothing in her story that any police officer could take to court. There is nowhere for them to go except for a place like refuge,’’ Jury said.

New Zealand has one of the world’s highest rates of domestic violence, with police attending about 120,000 related callouts around the country every year.

In Taranaki alone, there had been an increase of 500 calls to the refuge’s crisis line over the last 12 months, jumping from 1100 to 1600.

Jury was in New Plymouth to attend Friday night’s Art for Refuge event, which is this year’s major fundraiser for the Taranaki branch. To date, $24,000 had been raised.

She said the Taranaki community was very supportive of

‘‘The reality is those sorts of events are only the culmination of a whole lot of stuff that has gone on before.’’

Dr Ang Jury

the work its refuge does, something that was replicated across the country.

‘‘There is an enormous amount of support and goodwill out there.’’

Jury said when compared with social attitudes 30 years ago, New Zealand had made ‘‘huge strides’’ in terms of its stance on domestic violence.

‘‘There’s incremental change all over the place.’’

But gender inequality was still a major problem and Jury said until there was a level playing field in society, getting rid of the ‘‘ugly stuff’’ like violence would remain difficult.

Need help?

If you are in immediate danger, dial 111 and ask for police. If you are worried about a child or young person call Oranga Tamariki/Ministry for Children on

0508 326 459. The toll-free Family Violence Information Line 0800

456 450 provides information and connects people to services.