Gifts you don’t want under your tree
We’ve all been there. Tearing open that eagerly awaited present and having to paste the smile on our faces once its contents are revealed. Here’s our non definitive list of gifts to avoid to ensure the smile is genuine.
Exercise equipment
Unless the recipient is a fitness fanatic, dumbbells, Fitbits and sports bras all send the same message. And when you’re tucking into your fifth rumball and trying to nab the seat closest to the cheese plate, ‘‘do some exercise, fatty’’ is not the message you want to hear.
Cleaning implements
Vacuum cleaners, irons and cleaning products make truly terrible Christmas gifts. They should be paid for out of the usual household budget, not the Christmas budget. Christmas is a time for showing your loved one how much they mean to you, not how much shiny floors mean to you.
A pod coffee machine
Some people love them but others won’t appreciate podbuying and recycling being added to their to-do list. There’s also the bench space that they take up and their environmental impact. Other space-hogging appliances that should be avoided include juicers, foot spas, massage chairs and popcorn makers.
Anything involving extra work
Call us lazy, but come December 26 we want to relax, not dig holes for gifted shrubs or erect worm farms or blow up the giant inflatable pool you’ve bought our kids who are far too young to swim in it unsupervised
anyway.
Noisy toys
On the subject of kids, drum kits, recorders and anything that plays loud dinky tunes should also be struck off your gift list. For most parents, Christmas marks the start of a long spell of ‘‘quality’’ time with them and it will be noisy enough. Also, don’t buy them anything messy, hard to store or so full of sugar it makes your teeth ache looking at it.
Live animals
Every year there are pleas from the SPCA – don’t buy pets for Christmas. January often sees an influx of unwanted pets being taken in, which is heartbreaking for staff and often the owners. While the squeal of delight at the puppy with the bow around its neck might be a cute moment, there’s 15 long years of responsible dogownership after that.
Novelty mugs
There’s a reason the mugs printed with bad jokes or with fake cockroaches inside get shoved to the back of the cupboard – they’re just never as funny as the gift-giver thinks they are.
Anything inappropriate
This includes the bottle of vodka for the recovering alcoholic, the panettone for the coeliac or the peanut brittle for your cousin with the lifethreatening nut allergy. Do your homework and avoid the awkward moments.
The same thing as last year
Even if last year it was a hit, it won’t cut it twice in a row.