Outside the comfort zone
It’s nearly time to celebrate those Taranaki people who made 2018 great, with the annual Taranaki Daily News Person of the Year Award. But before that begins on Wednesday, Helen Harvey sits down with 2017 winner Jamie Allen.
Jamie Allen sits outside at a wooden table clasping and unclasping his hands. He is talking about 2018, but is finding it hard to think of the past 12 months in terms of a year.
‘‘Because it is so one day at a time,’’ he says.
‘‘And often it is so intense it’s even one hour at a time.’’
Allen and his family live at the Taranaki Retreat, which they set up as a time-out space for anyone going through trauma or suffering, or at risk of suicide.
The retreat opened early last year and at the end of 2017 Allen, the former dean of Taranaki Cathedral, was named Taranaki Daily News Person of the Year.
Allen describes himself as shy. A dedicated introvert.
‘‘So, most of my time is living way out of my comfort zone including this conversation right here, right now.
‘‘I’m profoundly grateful for the acknowledgement of what everyone is doing here. ‘‘I see [Person of the Year] as a team thing. I am not in the least worthy of it personally, but I am part of something amazing and for that everybody should be proud.
‘‘The retreat has grown and developed and deepened in all our understandings of what we are here for.’’
Since the retreat opened they have had more than 2700 inquiries from people looking for support, he says.
‘‘I never imagined for a moment that there would be that level of contact with us. That the need would be so profound.
‘‘So, that’s challenged us with how we adapt to that, how we make the connections that make that sustainable and how we find the different ways and means to respond to what we are hearing and what we are learning.’’
For many the retreat is the last resort, he says.
‘‘So, we have had to learn how to respond in the way that is the most hopeful and the most suited to need. Sometimes that’s supporting people through a residential stay.
‘‘Often people are part of our outreach programme, so we’ll be visiting at home or at a safe place somewhere, a neutral venue. People will come for day visits.’’
Since the retreat opened he had heard and reflected on a lot of stories of suffering and of challenge, of people falling through gaps one way or another.
But he has seen seen an incredible movement and huge sacrifice from individuals to fill those gaps. People really want to see a brighter future when it comes to our mental health, he says.
‘‘I’m seeing things change significantly in terms of how that conversation is emerging from the taboo. I feel immensely privileged to walk the paths of struggle beside people and feel humbled to be welcomed into their story. I often feel so inadequate.
‘‘There’s been a lot of hope, a lot of tears, a lot of sadness and an extraordinary serving of blessings.’’
This year they’ve raised funds for two part-time social workers, which they’re absolutely thrilled about.
‘‘In general, as we become more systems focused and risk averse we are in danger of losing the human touch and that’s the sad thing because what often makes the difference for people is that somebody cared and went the extra mile and systems don’t necessarily allow for that.’’
But Taranaki Retreat’s approach is ‘let’s be together’, he says.
‘‘Let’s walk along side one another. Let’s even live together. Every time we receive new guests there is an anxiety in us because we are sharing our space, our children’s space.
‘‘Every time I feel a little unsettled. What’s the first evening meal going to be like? How will we get along? Can we even do this? So there is quite a bit of faith that goes into that.’’
The family is aware of their own need for time out and to have a break and they have an ‘‘excellent supervision process that helps them not to end up with a ‘‘backpack of burdens.’’
He is seeing an increase in mental health issues such as the rise of depression and anxiety in teenagers, in particular the huge increase in self harm. Even things like computer game Fortnite are affecting the wellbeing of quite young children, he says.
‘‘These issues are not going to go away unless really decisive action is taken. I think we all want to see that change come about, but the resource is way too lacking at the moment.’’ He pauses for breath.
‘‘As you can see I’m pretty passionate on it.’’
‘‘There’s been a lot of hope, a lot of tears, a lot of sadness and an extraordinary serving of blessings.’’ Jamie Allen