What not to do at Christmas

What is the deal with giving puzzles to children, especially ones so clearly not ageappropriate?

My son got a 1000-piece puzzle of Australia when he was nine. He took one look at the box and refused to open it. However, his younger sister decided she would open it then wanted someone to help her do it.

Which is how I spent the Christmas holidays with a sore neck, bad back and quickly diminishing patience. She eventually gave up and it sat on the floor gathering dust until we moved house. It then got a new home on our dining table and when guests came over we ate dinner from our laps.

Walkie talkies

Walkie talkies would be great if they just did the two things the name suggests: allowed you to talk while walking. But they never seem to work. All you get is static and rising blood pressure.

And the batteries! For something that doesn’t work they sure chew up a lot of power.

Which brings me on to . . .

Anything requiring batteries

My husband and I once worked out we had spent close to $1000 replacing batteries in toys. There was a period in our lives where one of us could have given up work just so we could spend our days replacing batteries.

Items that require assembly

If I wanted to spend my afternoon assembling something, I would have made a trip to Ikea. Another great tip is not to buy something for someone else’s child if it is bigger than the child it is intended for. I am talking dolls’ houses, toy kitchens, doll changing tables (yes really), that not only need assembling but also take up a lot of room in what was once your formal living area (or only living area).

Anything dangerous or that will end up costing money

My son was once given some blaster balls, which caused real sparks when thrown and burnt the skin when touched straight after. Well-meaning relatives can also be relied on to buy bikes or skateboards but none of the accompanying helmets, knee pads, wrist pads etc that are required so said child does not break something – $120 later your child might finally be ready to try out the skateboard.

Surprise gifts that really shouldn’t be surprises

Apart from skateboards, this could include anything alive: kittens, puppies, rabbits, guinea pigs and fish. My son was once given a fish tank for his birthday, which was great, and it was free. So after I spent $200 on what I needed for the fish tank and some fish, I then spent another $200 and what was left of my sanity attempting to keep the water at the right pH level and replacing the fish every time they died. We gave up, but not before my children got to learn about life and death. OK, mainly death.

Craft

I hate craft. I should know, because since I’ve had kids I’ve done a lot of it.

How I laugh when I look back at the day I bought the knitting dolly, the loom, the tapestry set for beginners, the knitting needles. Even those mosaic by numbers sets proved too difficult for my kids, so I found myself sticking tiny sparkles to a chihuahua’s dress – yes, there was a chihuahua in a dress.

EssentialKids.com.au