Gift angst at odds with true Christmas spirit

Please don’t ask my sons what they want for Christmas. The one thing they have repeatedly requested, I haven’t got them. Recently for my 5-year-old’s birthday, I gave into his requests and bought him an over-priced plastic construction which he had desired for a year.

I waited patiently until Farmers had a sale and then making a quick celebration call to hubby, I finally made the purchase my kids had been waiting for.

The Paw Patrol watch tower provided hours of entertainment as the boys drove the rescue pups and their trucks we had collected, down the ramps and up the lift, their commander’s voice blasting from the mechanical speaker.

For maybe three days the control tower was the most played with item in the house.

Then it was all over, rover.

Had I taken too long? Probably. Should

I have avoided that purchase in the first place? Potentially.

Will I make that mistake again? Not flamin’ likely.

‘‘I wish you’d gotten me the Paw Patroller or the Sea Patrol submarine instead,’’ my son confessed.

Now despite his somewhat waning interest, in the lead-up to Christmas he’s been eyeing the brand’s oversized Rubble dog. I won’t be buying it.

I created a special place in the lounge for the watch tower, painstakingly keeping track of every pup and truck and arranging them neatly around the tower to encourage further play. Nothing.

Even my two-year-old seemed to have lost interest. Though as I wrote this column, he started playing with it again. I live in hope.

I’d finished Christmas toy shopping weeks ago without asking my sons what they wanted.

It hadn’t occurred to me to, as I have a good knowledge of what they are into.

My sister went ahead and asked anyway and sure enough, ‘‘giant Rubble’’ was the answer. Then everyone seemed to ask and for weeks I heard nothing but requests for Rubble dog.

When I started accumulating Christmas presents nine months ago, I considered all the things my boys like.

I thought about versatility, imaginative play, what would stand the test of time and what would complement the toys they already own.

Parenthood has also made me thrifty. When I see a bargain on a coveted item, I buy and stash it.

But still I found myself awake the other night, wondering who I was trying to please with my organisational presentbuying.

As I tried to ease my mind back to sleep in the wee hours, I wondered whether my kids would be disappointed once they had opened all their creatively chosen gifts to discover that Rubble dog, the Paw Patroller, the Sea Patrol submarine and all the other over-priced puppy merch was missing in action.

I love to see that look of unbridled excitement on my sons’ faces when they open cleverly chosen gifts from Santa (me). It’s disappointing when instead my oldest tells me, ‘‘what I really wanted was…’’ How do you teach gratitude to a 5-year-old?

I’m aware of what a First World problem this is. In our own city there are scores of families who don’t have a hope of celebrating Christmas: they simply can’t afford it.

I’m trying to explain this to my sons, to encourage them to be generous to others by buying gifts for families with little, by corresponding with our World Vision sponsor children, by being open about money with them.

I want our boys to understand what a blessed life they live.

Here’s where the notion of Santa doesn’t add up. Why would Father Christmas give to some kids and not others?

I’m trying to nurture empathy and sustainability in my boys who poured quality bubble bath down the drain the other night, who eat a treat and straight away ask for another, who misplace their belongings then tell me, ‘‘that’s OK, you can just buy another one’’.

I never ‘just’ buy another one. Nor do I generally buy toys outside of birthdays or Christmas, yet they have developed this idea that money and goods are expendable.

My husband concludes our sons have too much and would love to see us give away some of our possessions. I reckon he’s onto something.

Even so, I’ve not always been the best gift-giver so I sometimes worry whether I am choosing well. I still want my kids to have something new and special on occasion, to enjoy their toys.

These things can’t be forced. Gift inspiration strikes when you’re in a relaxed mood and have ample cash to spend.

That’s hardly the vibe many will be feeling as they race frantically to grab last stock items at Briscoes or The Warehouse on their credit cards in the few remaining days before Christmas.

It strikes me as ironic that in these moments, the true spirit of Christmas is all but lost.

Gift inspiration strikes when you’re in a relaxed mood.