Get real, Mr Carr and Mr Brown

Ihave some advice for Mr Brown. But then don’t we all. First, though, there is Mr Carr to deal with…or is it ‘‘to’’? Jimmy Carr is that Englishman on telly with a ridiculous laugh, akin to a hyena eyeing up prey, crossed with the small dog in our neighbourhood that gets hysterical at something not apparent to the rest of us.

Carr had a wee chip at New Plymouth when he deigned to visit recently, saying we’re ‘‘frankly no improvement on the original’’. The problem is the word ‘‘frankly’’, which used like that suggests he expected better. But better than what?

Carr performs regularly in Plymouth, and from what I can’t find among the endless mentions of him on the web, he doesn’t seem to have any problem with our English cousin.

When you give it, well, a minute’s serious thought, his throwaway was nothing more than a comedian’s quick bit of selfpromotion.

It scarcely rivals John Cleese calling Palmerston North the world capital for doing away with yourself, or the Rolling Stones labelling Invercargill the a-hole of that same world.

The wonder is that such locally hurtful assessments achieve global prominence, which in Carr’s case was especially evident in Nigeria. The Times of Nigeria’s headline said: ‘‘Jimmy Carr took a swipe at New Plymouth – other times celebrities roasted NZ & More Trending News.’’

The fact the last three words were given capital letters is heartening.

So, you’re off the hook, Jimbo. Kind of. It didn’t help, though, to suggest NP has only one tourist attraction, the Wind Wand. You didn’t bother to look around properly.

Notice Te Maunga, at all? Pukekura Park? Surf beaches? Len Lye Centre? Too busy with your head up your Invercargill, I suspect.

The mayor of Auckland’s situation is much harder to dismiss as inconsequential. Wayne Brown is to the naked eye little more than toast after the Auckland deluge.

But a ‘‘media drongo’’ as old as me has a little bit of hope for our former Taranaki dweller (I’m told he’s way ahead of Jimmy Carr when it comes to knowing the delights of Taranaki, such as surfing).

If he’s as smart as originally portrayed, Brown can learn a lesson from what looks for all money like a major screwup. For a balanced assessment of how major, take a look at Newsroom co-editor Tim Murphy’s article this week.

The lesson is the same one I’ve watched many local body politicians absorb or ignore over more than half a century – the risk in taking ratepayers for granted.

Current New Plymouth mayor Neil Holdom learned that in his first term, when having astutely divined the city’s biggest challenges lay underground in the free waters, thought he could sell half the Fitzroy Golf Course to fix them.

Aside from misjudging public reaction to the idea of flogging off a public park, he seemed unaware short-term gestures are not the way to go when addressing life-long fundamentals. That’s akin to buying an old house and renovating it with not much money.

One of Brown’s problems appears to be underestimating the power of the drongo.

Holdom backed off and embarked on a workable long-term plan. Yeah, that meant raising the rates, but dare I suggest our rates were on the low side anyway when compared with other cities. We had become too mean to live.

Our mayor has more than survived learning such things and as he strides on into his third term must rank alongside Daisy Lean as one of New Plymouth’s most effective top dogs.

Mr Brown, it’s yours to salvage, this leadership role so besieged by what weather ‘‘experts’’ are now suggesting is the worst weather event Auckland ever suffered.

What you may need to think about is whether you want to put yourself through it all, if restoring your pride is the main driver.

The ending to our previous prime minister’s leadership ride reinforces one of public life’s fundamental truths – no matter how well you apply yourself to resolving some big challenges, voters eventually turn on you as quickly as look at you.

One of Brown’s problems appears to be underestimating the power of the drongo.

One such was giving a commentary on live TV as children and elderly people were being carried to safety through chestdeep floodwaters… about the same time the Auckland mayor was fretting about missing his weekly indoor tennis engagement.

Even those of us inured lately to such scenes coming in from around the world could see this was serious. Step one, Brownie – keep up with the news.