Children at risk from domestic violence
Last week we described a woman’s journey through violence to safety, and touched on the services provided for her children.
This week we will focus on the effects and possible consequences of domestic violence for children and young people.
When talking to individuals, organisations and groups about the work of Women’s Refuge there are inevitably many questions about the children: because we are all concerned about our children, we all want what’s best for them, we all want them to be happy.
We understand the safety of children and young people as a fundamental right and necessity. However, we also know that New Zealand has the worst child abuse statistics in the OECD.
Fourteen per cent of young people report being hit or physically harmed on purpose by an adult in their home in the past 12 months.
At least 74,785 children and young people aged under 17 were present at domestic violence situations attended by police, as children are present in about half of all police family violence call outs. On average, 10 children are killed a year due to family violence and each time the entire country mourns.
Each death is a tragedy. Then there is also the ongoing damage to children and young people experiencing various levels of physical and emotional abuse and neglect.Young children especially have a particular way of processing family violence.
Of course, they are fearful, even terrified. However, they can also feel as though they are the reason for the abuse; that they must have done something to make everyone angry. They believe that if they try really hard to be good, the abuse will stop.
So they develop tactics to try and defuse tension in the family from a very early age, becoming the peace-maker, or developing behaviours that may seem like attention-seeking. Or the opposite, being hidden, not seen, staying small and insignificant.
They can become hypervigilant, watching for any signs that violence is about to begin.It is therefore no surprise that living with violence has negative impacts on children such as low concentration, anxiety and stress, leading to poor health, education and social outcomes.
A child’s brain development is compromised by violence from as early as pre-birth, effecting the allimportant bonding relationship between parents and their children.
They can lose their own childhood as they learn to look out for and look after others too early in life, when they should be out playing without a care in the world.
At Women’s Refuge we hold the safety of children and young people paramount and central to the work that we do. We work closely with Oranga Tamariki and the Police to help ensure the safety of children and young people on a daily basis.
Our Child Youth Advocate is there to engage with the children and young people separately to their mum or caregiver.
This gives them an independent voice, and ensures that their particular needs can be heard and met.
The Tamariki Programme is for primary school children, where they learn that they are not responsible for the behaviour of the adults in their lives.
They create a safety plan including the ‘safe people’ they can call when they are not safe. They also have a lot of fun and parents and caregivers are invited to the final day to help celebrate.
Many times we have heard of children using their safety plans after they have been on the programme.
The Rangatahi Programme is for young people at secondary school who are often embarking on their own relationships.
This is a great opportunity to have those discussions about the signs of healthy or unhealthy relationships.
All of the programmes at Women’s Refuge are free.
Caregiver consent is required for all services for children and young people.It’s important to remember that children need adults to keep them safe. That’s us...you and me.
We can all be the difference in a child’s life.If you are worried about a child, don’t ignore it.
Call Oranga Tamariki on 0508 326 459 (0508 FAMILY), available 24-7. If you believe a child to be in danger, call 111 and ask for the Police. (Statistics sourced from the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse https:/ /nzfvc.org.nz)