Kiwis thin-skinned? You must be raving mad
Visitors’ criticisms can quickly whip up a defensive backlash
Last week the great Richie McCaw told the Daily
Telegraph: “It annoys me when Kiwis say ‘oh it’s not like it used to be, when games were close’. Well, they used to moan when it was close that we hadn’t played well.”
Surely there’s nothing more humble and Kiwi than worrying that your team is too good. Currently we are all talking about how close our 37-10 record- breaking victory was on Saturday night. Richie is right rugby fans can be annoying, but it’s only because we care so much. But what about New Zealanders in general? Outside of our rugby fandom what are the most annoying things Kiwis do? This week on the Matt and Jerry Breakfast Show we had visitors to the country tell us what annoys them about New Zealanders.
This international feedback was interesting and controversial. But being Kiwis we didn’t get annoyed or defensive about any of it.
Dean, a 35-year-old South African here visiting relatives, reckoned Kiwis are friendly people, but we talk about the weather too much.
Well, Dean, 35, maybe we do but it’s only because there is so much weather to talk about. We’re a set of islands on the receiving end of both Antarctic and tropical weather. We have brutal orographic rain patterns due to our majestic Southern Alps. The most beautiful mountain range in the world.
Our country has wide latitudinal variation. Look at the dry westerly wind systems that hit Central Otago and the warm moist northeasterly weather that can devastate northern coastal regions. And don’t get me started on the foehn winds of the Canterbury plains or the wind patterns hitting Wellington. So yeah, Dean, 35, from South Africa, we Kiwis talk about the weather a little bit. What of it? Mike, an Australian caller visiting Rotorua, described New Zealand as the most beautiful country on Earth, but was annoyed that we call methamphetamine “P”. He reckons thousands of tourists leave the country thinking we have a urine smoking problem. Well, Mike, you can call your nasty little drug “ice” if you want. No-one cares. We don’t get confused and think Sydney drug addicts are smoking frozen water. Anyway, Mike, how often do you need to talk about “P” or “ice” or whatever you want to call it? Very suspicious. Amanda, a 28-year-old from California, said she liked socialising with Kiwis but found it annoying how quickly we drink, claiming she’s two sips into her first glass of wine when
her New Zealand friends are cracking open their second bottle.
Well, Amanda, 28, of California, you’re missing the historical significance of our speedy drinking. It’s all the fault of the enforced 6pm closing of pubs that ran from 1917 to 1967. We had to drink fast before home time.
Sure that ended before most of us were born. So what if we like a drink? Your most famous teetotaller is Donald Trump. So why don’t you marry him if you love not drinking so much, Amanda, 28, of California?
Paul, 26, from Birmingham is here on business and is enjoying the place so much he’s added a couple of weeks on the end of his trip to look around. But Paul claims Kiwis get overly defensive when criticised.
“You have to love everything or Kiwis get grumpy. Every beer, beach, pub and club has to be the best in
What a load of bollocks . . . We love being critiqued. Show me one example of a Kiwi not being able to handle criticism.
the world or Kiwis start sulking and call you a ‘whinging pom’.”
What a load of bollocks, Paul, 26, of Birmingham. We love being critiqued. Show me one example Paul, of a Kiwi not being able to handle criticism.
McCaw has more than earned the right to tell the Australian media on New Zealand rugby fans for being annoying. We are fine with it. As a country we have always welcomed criticism. We never over-react.
Whatever you say about our weather chat, stupid names for drugs, boring wildlife, America’s Cup losses, sitting-down-going-backwards medals or drinking problems — we’re cool. Kiwis are a confident people who enjoy having foibles pointed out.
That’s because New Zealand is the most beautiful country in the world, we bat above our weight in sport and everything else and most of all we never get defensive. Anyone who says we do is a dick.