Key jokes about his ‘relevance’

Prime Minister John Key’s retirement announcement sparked a long string of “lasts” for him, even if he did have to stand in a queue to tick some of them off.

Going into his last Question Time as PM, Key had to wait in the corridor while the media talked to those vying to succeed him before they could fit him in for his final “bridge run” talk. He finally made it in to face his final two questions. Labour leader Andrew Little had directed his question at Finance Minister Bill English instead, prompting a cry of “Oh, God, I’m irrelevant already,” from Key.

But NZ First leader Winston Peters had a sense of occasion and dedicated one of his precious questions to Key.

Those questions were all about those in line to replace Key. Peters had even brought score cards along to hold aloft as each of those contestants — Bill English, Judith Collins, and Jonathan Coleman — spoke.

He asked about Judith Collins’ comments National would be “a bunch of wusses” if it raised the Youth Court age to include 17-year-olds. Key deliberately misheard this as 70-yearolds and assured Peters he was safe.

Peters followed up by asking how Key could have confidence in his Police Minister, Health Minister and Finance Minister since they did not seem to have confidence in each other.

As Key insisted National was a den of harmony, despite appearances, Peters ramped up his question line. He pointed to “spills coming out of caucus” about “terrible instability, feuding, backstabbing, fighting, all sorts of secret calls — so much so that it has fallen to NZ First to look like the epitome of stability”.

Key retorted that it was easy to have stability in what was effectively a caucus of one.

Green Party co-leader James Shaw also decided to have some fun, asking Key if he even knew what Coleman looked like. He asked also whether Key wanted to change his mind now he had seen those in line to replace him.

Gerry Brownlee wanted to know if Key could ever recall a day when the Greens had put so much effort into their questions. Key’s response was a dig at the Greens’ likelihood of remaining in Opposition in perpetuity: “No, but it is good to see that they are getting the hang of it, because they are going to be asking questions for a very long time.”

With that, Key’s final word in Question Time was done.