The New Zealand Herald

Toby Manhire

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down your offer and put it in my boot. Anyone seen Shane?

The people of this country have demanded an end to the demonising, cinderella-rising and frankly disgusting disrespect­arising of leading New Zealanders. They want free-toair live sport so ordinary New Zealanders can tune in to cheer Bert Sutcliffe and Sid Going on the internatio­nal stage. They want free to air Danish political dramas exploring mature proportion­al politics. A referendum on relocating to Northland the port and the Parliament and the Picton Ferry.

Just a lot of referendum­s, basically.

A referendum on returning to a New Zealand with respect for right and wrong, and grandmothe­rs, and two television channels. A referendum on putting the word First at the end of the name of this great country. A referendum on referendum­s. And something inconseque­ntial but symbolical­ly meaningful about the Maori and the immigrants because who can trust people who have been here such a long time or such a short time? That’s right.

What else? I’ll tell you. Journalist­s will stop being imbeciles and start showing some respect, just a bit of respect, would it kill you, I’ll tell you what might kill you, that’s right, you’re donkey deep and listen to me sunshine, I know all about the truth and the truth will out, and any fairminded person would agree the truth is buried shallow in the sands, like a lost feather or the excrement of a dog. That’s right.

In conclusion

What does this agreement signify? Another ridiculous question which I will not dignify with an answer except to say that with the greatest respect the permutatio­ns are many and so are the exact precise voices of the New Zealand people and we shall govern in good faith and in the national interest and has anyone seen Shane?

I’m talking about integrity. You want to see integrity? Go down to my car and look in my boot. It’s all there. Integrity.

Winston Peters says nothing can happen until we know how the special votes pan out.

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Picture / Nick Reed
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