Teen girls major test of a marriage
Divorce study finds separation risk increases with children’s age but more notably for those with daughters
Sthan parents with teenage sons.
The effect peaks at age 15, when the risk faced by parents with daughters is almost 10 per cent higher than the risk faced by parents with sons. In the following years, the differences narrow again, and they disappear once the child turns 19. A similar pattern is also found among second and subsequent children.
Attitudes to gender
Social scientists suggest there are several reasons why daughters might raise divorce risks. One established theory says that some parents have cultural or social preferences for sons.
Another theory assumes that boys are more vulnerable and their need of a male role model makes fathers more committed to the marriage. There is also a sex-selection theory which postulates that mothers whose marriages are more stressful may be more likely to give birth to a baby girl.
However, we do not find empirical evidence in support of any of these theories.
Instead, our findings suggest the higher divorce rates are explained by strains in the relationships between some parents and their teenage daughters, possibly stemming from differences in attitudes toward gender roles. This explanation is backed by the separate analysis of a large survey of Dutch households, which asked families about their relationships and opinions regarding marriage, gender and parenting.
Parents of teenage daughters disagreed more about the way they should raise their children, and expressed more positive attitudes towards divorce. They were also less satisfied with the quality of their family relationships.
Teen daughters, in turn, reported worse relationships with their fathers, though not with their mothers.
Growing up with a sister
Our hypothesis is that the fathers who had more experience relating to teenage girls (via their sisters) would experience fewer relationship strains with their teenage daughters. This could occur because fathers with sisters may hold more egalitarian attitudes toward gender roles, or because they have a better understanding of teenage girls and their family interactions.
And indeed, we found that the fathers who grew up with sisters did not face any increase in divorce risks from teenage daughters.
We also looked at other family characteristics that could indicate differences between the gender-role attitudes held by parents and their daughters, such as the ages or immigration background of the couple. Here, we found that the parents who are likely to hold more traditional attitudes toward gender roles experienced higher increases of divorce odds from teen daughters.
Destined for divorce?
Despite their relative significance during the teen years, the difference in the divorce risks faced by families with boys and girls remains modest over the child’s lifetime.
By the time their first-born children hit age 25, 311 out of every 1000 Dutch couples with daughters had divorced compared with 307 of every 1000 with sons — a difference of four divorces per 1000 couples.
And our finding of a null effect among fathers who grew up with sisters also shows that the association between a child’s gender and divorce risk is not universal. However, our results do point to serious strains between some parents and their teenage daughters, and help us understand the factors contributing to family breakdown.
The results also suggest these risks can be reduced if the parents of teenage daughters adopt more egalitarian attitudes towards gender roles and a greater understanding of how conflicts could come up.