The New Zealand Herald - - CLASSIFIED -

Play­ing chicken in traf­fic

News nos­tal­gia from 1975. Rather than in­stalling ex­pen­sive signs or speed bumps, Napa, Cal­i­for­nia ex­per­i­mented with us­ing chick­ens to slow down mo­torists on one of its streets — Stre­blow Drive, bor­der­ing Kennedy Park. They sim­ply let 85 chick­ens roam the park and street at will. Said park su­per­in­ten­dent Bob Pelusi: “Only oc­ca­sion­ally does an er­rant driver charge through the flock. In the nine months we’ve had the chick­ens on the job, we’ve lost 12 of them — gone in the line of duty, so to speak.”

Closet ex­is­tence

Killer re­sponse: “Last time my hus­band went away I was trapped in a closet for four days. Mes­merised by shoes which women are in­ca­pable to re­sist, and un­able to open the door again with my fee­ble woman arms af­ter it swung shut be­hind me. I would have been starv­ing ei­ther way, be­cause I’d al­ready flipped over my food dish while run­ning round the kitchen shriek­ing be­cause I thought I saw a spi­der, and would have been in­ca­pable of find­ing my own food, not be­ing a hunter gath­erer. It was a thought that com­forted me as I al­ter­nated be­tween weep­ing, and gig­gling with sim­ple de­light over my high-heeled prize. Hard times.”

Dif­fer­ent type of pot

“There’s a com­mon mis­con­cep­tion that Mu­si­cal Youth’s num­ber one hit in 1982, Pass the Dutchie, is a song about cannabis. In fact the song is about ex­treme poverty. The “dutchie” in the lyrics refers to a type of pot used for cook­ing. It’s an easy mis­take to make though be­cause the song is ac­tu­ally a cover of a song re­leased just one year ear­lier called Pass the Koutchie by the Mighty Di­a­monds, which was in­deed a song all about cannabis.” (Source: 1980s Child­hood by Michael A. John­son)

Bark­ing mad — good idea

Peo­ple of­ten make mat­ters worse by run­ning away when be­ing chased by a roam­ing dog. Bren­dan Leonard from the Ad­ven­ture Jour­nal says run­ning is a bad idea be­cause dogs in­stinc­tively chase any­one who runs from them. Stay­ing calm and bark­ing back may con­fuse the dog and dif­fuse the sit­u­a­tion. “What the dog has not seen is a hu­man be­ing go­ing FREAK­ING CRAZY on it. Which is what you’re go­ing to do. For one sec­ond. When the dog re­alises you have com­pletely lost it, the dog will be shocked. You are un­sta­ble, pos­si­bly dan­ger­ous. And, ideally, it will stop chas­ing you.”

In­de­pen­dent to a point.

Another ex­cel­lent protest sign.

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