The minefield that’s the work do
Ahhh . . . the Christmas work do, where management and staff pretend to be best buddies, where alcohol and hormones take over, and tales of incredibly poor decision-making are retold and embellished for years to come.
In two months’ time, the internet will be abuzz with cringeworthy stories, pictures and video of disastrous Christmas party fails, by the drunk, stupid and romantically inclined. Prepare yourself now, so you don’t become 2018’s cautionary poster child against festive antics.
Every year the list of classic Christmas Party fails grows longer and longer. Great examples include team members stealing the Christmas tree from a hotel where the function was taking place. They shoved the tree out of a toilet window (decorations and all) and one must wonder what they did once they got it outside.
A banker who was drinking heavily at one event, ending up getting so drunk that he did a striptease in front of the entire staff. At the end, he was mostly naked, standing on a table in the middle of the bar.
Examples I have witnessed include stand-up fights between team leaders and their staff, as well as verbal fisticuffs, alcohol-fuelled honesty and inebriated pleas for raises.
Let’s look at tips to survive your Christmas party with your dignity intact:
1. Limit your alcohol intake.
This is obviously a no-brainer but someone always thinks drinks at home to “pre-load” are a great idea. They are not. Also, don’t be afraid to mix your alcohol intake with soft drinks, juices and mocktails. This one tip, would solve about 99 per cent of all Christmas party problems for the HR department the following Monday.
This is massively important, as we are all one picture or video away from “career armageddon”. If you are a social
2. Beware of social media.
media hero, get in front of the camera early on, but try and keep out of it as the night descends into chaos.
3. Think about who you bring as your partner.
Many organisations are culling the “plus one”, however if you are lucky enough to be able to bring along a partner or friend, think long and hard about who this might be. One Christmas party I bought along a friend who was engaging and lots of fun. Sadly, however, she overindulged on the free wine, and threw up all over the toilet. This then involved my getting her safely home, missing the rest of the party.
4. Be social and don’t talk about work.
This is not the time to plan meetings, brainstorm or solve clients’ problems. For one day, people want to forget about budgets, sales targets and health and safety reports. Just relax and have fun with your colleagues.
5. No to office romances.
These are not advised generally but the Christmas party is certainly not the time to try and strike up an interdepartmental romance with that girl or guy in the PR department. If you didn’t have the courage to ask them out over the past 12 months, doing it while inebriated is not a successful ploy.
Free food does not mean you can go crazy and totally pig out. One person informed me that their colleague actually took a Tupperware container to a party to collect leftovers.
6. The buffet goldmine. 7. Asking for a raise.
Even though everything seems right through the night, this is not the ideal time to ask for a raise. Although you may have increased salary expectations, this is something that is normally approached delicately with no alcohol involved, rather than descending into a shouting match over U Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer. It is not the time or the place.
8. Inappropriate evening wear.
Confirm the dress code for the party, then ensure you meet the standard. Turning up rocking a crop top or denim jacket and jeans, while everyone else is wearing three-piece suits, will only damage your career in the long term.
9. Plan your route safely home.
Be sure to organise a taxi or a lift with someone else if you choose to have a few. If your designated driver has suddenly decided to raid the free bar, revert to the taxi idea as quickly as you can.
It is vital to remember you are actually still at work, no matter how much free food and wine is available. You are among colleagues and managers, who may well be deciding on your next promotion within six months.
Following these guidelines will ensure you will be able to show your face in the days and weeks following your office Christmas party, not being the butt of jokes around the photocopier for months to come.