The emotional impact of retirement

You’ve got your finances in order, but there’s more to retirement than just making sure the bank balance will go the distance, writes

According to Barry LaValley, the author of the book So, You Think You’re Ready to Retire, there are three stages of retirement and you should be thinking about them as early as possible.

“The book’s meant as a guide that someone at 20 or 30 can use to plan their life, as well as for those in their50s and 60s looking at what the next stage of life will bring,” says Mr LaValley.

A retirement expert and trained psychologist, he’s also the president of the Retirement Lifestyle Centre and has studied retirement transition in North America, Australia and the UK for the past 20 years. He was in New Zealand recently on a book tour from his hometown in Nanaimo, British Colombia.

At 64, he views retirement as “doing what you want, when you want”, which means he wants to keep advising on retirement issues for as long as he can.

“Retirement is an emotional issue and hits people in different ways, it’s a transition and people are surprised that it’s not a destination, but a continuing journey on your life,” says LaValley.

Retirement can be a case of ‘ be careful what you wish for’, as once you get the life you’ve dreamed of all those years, it still needs structure.

LaValley warns that once the routine of work is gone, retirement can feel like a death to some people who need to re-learn what it is to live life well.

“My advice is to change your view of retirement and think of it as a transition into the kind of life you want,” says LaValley.

“Look at areas of life that will be impacted by this next phase — areas like health, work, leisure, home, your financial comfort and vision and values.”

Putting these areas under the microscope means you can plan what kind of structure you’d like to create in your life that’s less about money and financial planning and more about the social networks and hobbies you’ll need, as well as making sure you have things in place for health issues. He says there are basically three stages of retirement — the honeymoon stage, when you are excited about the future and spend “like a drunken sailor”, followed by a time when the fun ends and you settle into a more regular pattern, then a late stage of retirement when health issues may come along.

“Early, middle and late stages of retirement all bring different challenges — early: doing all the spending on bucket lists; middle: finding contentment; and late: consumed by potentially unexpected health issues and costs,” says LaValley.

“Remember, too, that retirement can last a very long time — it’s multiphased.”

Sometimes, retired people experience a “What Now?” feeling after the company (and annoyances) of workmates are no longer relevant and structures are replaced by choices of what to do with their time.

“Structure has to be created internally once retired and you still need to set short and longer-term plans around what you want out of each area of your life,” says LaValley.

It’s worth checking in with your children, too, about how your new life will work in with theirs.

“You need to have conversations with your family and talk about childcare requirements; don’t make assumptions about what your children want and don’t want from you,” says LaValley.

A positive attitude, because: “you really have to roll with the punches in this stage of life”. Being engaged in life and feeling you have value to add. Meaningful relationships. Engaging activities to do, which keep you involved in life and speak to the values you have.

Achievement — because, “we all need to feel like we’re doing something, whether it’s big or small, there’s a need for ego-satisfaction”.

“You don’t want to be living on top of each other, but as we get older, it’s more important for close proximity to family.”

At the end of the day, once finances are in order, he says it’s about understanding life issues in the three stages of retirement and the effect longevity can have on your plans.

“It’s about preparing your mind for retirement, too,” says LaValley.

“The most surprising thing for retirees is that it’s just life, not a holiday or a 30-year long weekend. You still have doctor’s appointments and the usual daily grind of keeping your life on track, as well as an increased focus on health issues from yourself or within your networks.” “You’d have a hard time retiring if you feel there’s unfinished business in the workplace or if you define yourself by your job,” says LaValley.

“It’s much easier to retire if you have health issues that’s robbing you of enjoyment in your job or you have something to go to, some plan for the next phase.”

Luckily, New Zealand retirees have a lot to be thankful for, says LaValley, including large basic pensions and a good health system. But, retirement doesn’t have to mean giving up on meaningful work.

“I’m trying to get more balance in my life, but the only way you know if you have balance is to know what values you have,” says LaValley.

“It’s about doing more of the things that make you feel good or at peace with the world — and retirement allows you time to do that.”

So, when you hang up your boots at the end of your working life, remember it’s not the end, but the beginning.