12 Questions

Jennifer Dann The Inside Word host Jehan Casinader says learning to like himself has been the most important and difficult lesson in his quest for mental wellbeing

1Why

Growing up in Lower Hutt I was bullied a lot, for being brown, for wearing the wrong clothes and being useless at sport — mostly verbal but some physical. I remember a pivotal moment at age 5, standing in the playground talking to a girl who said to me: “Are you brown because you don’t shower?” That started a narrative in my head that I wasn’t good enough, that I wasn’t worthy of other people’s love.

2Do

It used to. We have such a simple, old-fashioned idea of masculinity in this country; that rugged, rugby playing, beer-drinking, stoic, manstanding-on-a-hill-with-aspade. That’s not reflective of me or a lot of men I respect. Sadly, a lot of boys in this country are really struggling to work out who they are and express themselves in healthy ways.

3What

Character. My dad has the strongest character of anyone I know. He was a journalist in Sri Lanka forced to flee during the civil war when many of his close colleagues were being tortured and assassinated. I was brought up with a strong Christian faith in a household where we had vigorous debates around the dinner table about issues

are you so keen to talk about mental health? you think that New Zealand school culture places too much emphasis on sport? does masculinity mean to you?

like social justice. Our parents raised us with a strong service ethic — that it’s important to be generous with your time and resources to help others.

4Why

I’m keen to create spaces for young people to have real conversations about stuff they’re dealing with and dig a little deeper. I got a grant from the Mental Health Foundation and made it in my spare time over about six months while working on It works well on demand because each episode covers a different topic from cyber-bullying and body image to booze and teen parenting. Some people may only be interested in one or two of those topics.

5Have

Yes, I have been depressed. The worst time was the year I moved to Auckland at age 26. Work was incredibly stressful and I was away from my usual support networks. I felt isolated and doubted myself a lot. I cried a lot that year. 6What

A counsellor has helped me work through a number of issues over the past two years. I’ve learned to be kinder to myself by doing acceptance and commitment therapy. I realised I’d spent my entire life hating myself,

did you decide to make your six-part TV series The Inside Word, now on TVNZ On Demand? you ever experienced a period of being mentally unwell and how did you deal with it? helped you most? Pained face emoji

Emoji that represent a wider range of people is fair enough right? The hijabi emoji proposed by a muslim woman who simply wanted to see an emoji that looked like her is a good example, but the latest attempts at inclusions have may be taking things too far. Earlier this week a staff member from Google emoji tweeted a brand new salad emoji, without the egg previously nestled in among the lettuce and tomatoes “making this a more inclusive vegan salad”.

Phrases with unseemly origins

The origin of the word bulldozer, a seemingly neutral term for a heavy tractor, comes from the violent intimidation of black voters during Reconstruction, describing beatings that amounted to “a dose of the whip fit for a bull”. By the turn of the 20th century, bulldozing had become a more general term for work one does with powerful machinery. “No can do” may feel like a friendly way to indicate that you are not able to do something, but it began in the 1800s as a racist mockery of Chinese immigrants. Although the term “basket case” is used today to refer to someone who is very stressed out or anxious, the term originally referred to World War I soldiers who lost all four limbs and literally had to be carried off the battlefield in a basket. “Drinking the Kool-Aid” is common slang for showing blind loyalty to something, but it is a specific reference to an horrific event; the mass murder-suicide of people at Jonestown in the 1970s. So, it’s a bit of a clunker. (Source: Time.com)

A childhood that stayed on the rails

“When I was still at primary school the highlight of my year was an overnight trip, on my own, on the train from Auckland to Wellington,” writes Diane Fortune. “My parents would take me to Auckland Station, we would hire two pillows. I would hop into whatever carriage I was assigned to and make up my makeshift bed. Cheerfully waving goodbye to my parents, I would settle down with a good book until we reached Frankton Station. I would walk through rocking carriages until I had reached the carriage where I knew the door opened directly opposite the entrance to the Tea Rooms. Alighting, I would scurry to the counter, buy a pie and a cup of tea, balance the pie on the saucer, which I placed on top of the cup, then would head back to my seat. I would munch through that, go and clean my teeth, then would tuck myself in for the night. I always managed to be awake by the time we reached Palmerston North, then hop off and get a cream bun and another cup of tea for an early breakfast. My sister would meet me at Wellington Station. I absolutely adored the few times I did those trips, but imagine doing that with your 11-year-old daughter nowadays.”

Uncle-deep in mischief

“When I was around 7 years old I used to stay with my aunt and uncle in Roxburgh,” writes Raewyn Mackenzie of Ponsonby. “The big treat was riding on the back of his flat bed truck, with no sides, between Roxburgh and Alexandra. On that road are two deep dips and if taken fast enough you get that weightless feel you get at plane liftoff. So the trick was to make a few runs, getting faster and faster until that effect was achieved.”

partly because of my childhood experiences but also because I’d tied up most of my self-esteem with my work. I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that my job is something I do — it’s not who I am. I need to stop working so hard and find some balance, which doesn’t come naturally. Learning to be okay with myself has been a huge challenge; being able to sit alone and be comfortable in my own thoughts. I’ve got better but I’m not there yet. 7Have

I’ve been trying to carve out time to do that. One of the problems for my generation is we’re constantly distracted. I’ve deleted all the social media apps from my phone and turned off notifications for work emails. I still check them regularly but not every spare moment. It’s crazy, but this is what’s radical in 2018. Having a best friend that I can really talk to has also been a significant help.

you learned any techniques for doing that?

8Why

A lot of men really struggle to talk. Guys need to get better about doing friendship and being there for each other. The conversations that guys have with each other are quite unique. They’re direct, unfiltered and they can be quite funny, even if they’re about serious topics. I’ve been really lucky to have a best mate, Tommy, who I can be honest, vulnerable and 100 per cent myself with. We’ll text message most days and get together once a week for a drink or a meal and debrief on our experiences, hopes and dreams. Everyone deserves to have a best mate who can look after them. 9Why

Going to counselling doesn’t mean that you’re weak or you’re broken. I see it as maintenance; the same way people see a personal trainer to look after their body, it’s a good idea to see a counsellor to look after your mind. I’ve learned practical skills like

are male friendships important?

One of the problems for my generation is we’re constantly distracted. I’ve deleted all the social media apps from my phone.

is there still stigma about counselling?

how to breathe properly, how to notice my thoughts and realise they don’t control me — I can observe them and let them pass like leaves in a stream. There’s nothing kooky about that stuff, it actually works. 10Should

No, but we should educate them on the impact of social media on their mental health. I believe we are

we be banning our kids from social media?

experiencing an authenticity crisis. Social media has made us believe a number of lies; for example I have 1000 friends on Facebook but that doesn’t mean I have 1000 friends in real life. Social media makes us believe we’re sharing our lives with other people, when actually it’s just a highlights reel we’ve constructed to tell a particular story.

11You’ve

When I was 13 I wanted to do a story about so I rang the

they said, “Sure”. I covered the election for and at 16 wrote my first investigative article for the At 17 I had a weekly segment on about youth issues. It was really hard to get a full-time job at TVNZ. Some bitter senior journalists didn’t like the fact an unqualified teenager was getting airtime but I had great bosses willing to give me a shot. Social issues have always been my main interest. I

spent nine years on TV1’s Close Up, Seven Sharp and Sunday programmes. How did you get your break in TV?

started my career doing stories about topics like sex abuse and mental health that were deeply unfashionable 10 years ago so there were some lonely moments. 12Have

Ten years ago we could never have had a whole show dedicated to mental health issues. John Kirwan got the ball rolling but Mike King’s work over the past five years has been the game-changer. Unfortunately we still have a really binary understanding of mental health; that people are either mentally well or unwell but as with physical health, it’s on a spectrum. We all have difficult experiences like stress, loss, and grief to process. We need to normalise these conversations rather than trying to put people into one of those two boxes.

New Zealanders got better at talking about mental health?

tvnz.co.nz/shows/the-insideword