Family helpless as man pours cash into romance scam

Two siblings have spoken about the heartache of watching an elderly loved one stubbornly pour up to $100,000 into a Nigerian based romance scam despite their protests.

The pair did not wish to be named, believing the toll the story would take on relationships within the family would be too great, but told the Herald about how their father, who is in his 80s, faithfully sends large sums of money to a woman in Nigeria every month. And there was nothing they could do to stop it.

The octogenarian had been making transactions for more than two years. The siblings told the Herald they felt utterly powerless to intervene.

“It’s heartbreaking all around for all his kids,” his son said.

They felt their late mother had worked hard for the money and “didn’t get to enjoy it really”.

Their father had shut himself off from the whole family so he can carry out this addiction, he said.

“It’s incredibly frustrating — we have sort of lost a father and a grandfather.

“We’ve sat down with him, we have talked to him, we have showed how a lot of what she says on her Facebook page is not true — where she went to school and things, the university is non-existent.” But he still

believed the relationship was legitimate, he said.

“He will say things like ‘she can tell how I am feeling just by the sound of my voice’.

“Of course she can — that’s her job.” Emotionally he had been wrapped around her little finger, he said. “She’s just bleeding him dry. “My father send her gifts all the time to her address in Nigeria.”

One of the rooms in his house was locked to conceal the presents he planned to send her. “It’s things like a lot of jewellery — because we can see by his bank records that he has been going to Michael Hill.”

Perfumes, chocolates, food, handbags and shoes — “you name it, he sends it”.

“She is a real person because she skypes with him all the time.”

The age gap between the pensioner and his Nigerian pen pal was just over 40 years.

“He believes she’s in love, but she won’t come to New Zealand or anything like that.”

The family questioned why she would never visit, but the pensioner would turn his back on them rather than respond.

“Deep down I believe he knows he is being scammed.”

Unless he was in a coma, the family could not control his finances, he said.

His daughter also told the Herald it was difficult to watch unfold and that it was sad there was absolutely nothing the family could do to help.

“Extremely frustrating, but you either drive yourself crazy over it or . . . it is what it is unfortunately.”

Netsafe CEO Martin Cocker said that if there was concern someone has fallen for a scam it was important to speak to them about it.

“If you need help explaining to someone that they may be caught in a scam you can get them to contact Netsafe for help and advice.”