My Holiday: Matt Ward
Travelling home from Bali, the Economy cabin of my overnight flight was barely a third full.
I had a row to myself but in the exit row in front, all three seats were full. Those passengers would have paid more to secure extra legroom, safeguarding themselves against a potentially chocka flight. They must have been pretty pissed off to see the rest of us stretching out for free.
But, does that give them extra entitlement? Without acknowledging me, the woman in front reached behind to my row, taking all the extra blankets and pillows — the ones I’d planned to use to create a nice, comfortable bed. I know technically they weren’t mine either, but I was annoyed she didn’t ask first.
I didn’t say anything, but should I have? Where’s the line when it comes to plane etiquette?
— stephanie.holmes@nzherald.co.nz What was your greatest holiday? Kruger National Park in South Africa — it was pretty amazing seeing all the animals in their natural habitat. Then it was off to Cape Town for Rocking The Daisies Music Festival. Great festy but terrible place to be when the All Blacks lose to the Springboks. Shark cage diving the next day had me pretty fried by the end of the trip.
And the worst? The holidays are never bad, it’s the travelling that sucks. Busing from Phuket to Koh Phangan in Thailand for eight-plus hours when the only song on my phone was Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing was a brutally fitting torture. I was shoe-horned into the back seat next to everyone’s luggage with my face mashed up against the window. Getting stung by a scorpion while showering in Mozambique was also not great. Nor was running semi-nude to reception asking what to do. Bloody good diving there, though.
If we bump into you on holiday, what are you most likely to be doing? You’ll bump into me at a bar chatting Matt Ward is the night show host on Radio Hauraki hauraki.co.nz to locals about the place . . . that’s how you get your best experiences.
If we could teleport you to one place in New Zealand for a week-long holiday, where would it be?
Russell in the Bay of Islands. Such a beautiful spot, rich in history.
How about for a dream holiday internationally? I’d love to do a big train trip across India like in The Darjeeling Limited movie. Except not go with my brothers like they did — that’d be worse than the scorpion.
What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done when travelling? There are a few contenders for this bad boy. After finishing Sail Croatia, a week-long trip sailing along the coast from Dubrovnik to Split, a few mates and I were flying to Rome to be close to the Pope after a fairly sinful few days. Except I booked my flight for the day after. While the guys took off to bathe in holy water I had to check in to a seedy hostel, which shared a wall with a rowdy pub. They played nothing but Barry White the entire night while the guy in the bunk above me got lucky.
I also tried unsuccessfully to steal rapper T-Pain’s magnum of vodka in a nightclub in Cannes, France.
Aisle seat or window seat? Always aisle. Getting up and going to get your own drinks is also the most efficient way of getting your money’s worth on a flight. A German backpacker and I drank the plane dry of Johnny Walker Red on a flight from Dubai to Auckland once. He passed out and I listened to Fleetwood Mac. We’re still friends.
Complete this sentence: I can’t travel without . . . A deck of cards. Particularly handy if you’re travelling solo and staying in hostels.
What’s the best travel tip you’ve ever been given? Go to the right gate at Hong Kong airport. That way, you avoid the “Ah, Mr Ward, I presume?” when you finally arrive 15 minutes after the full 777 was scheduled to depart for London. An awkward walk of shame to my seat.
What was the most memorable meal you’ve had while travelling? Eating a burger twice the size of my head in Vietnam. The burger won. I didn’t actually eat again for a couple of days. Or move. I also unintentionally ate rat on that trip.