Israel Whitley, 24

On December 7, 2014, I had a phone call from a sibling informing me my father had been found dead.

It didn’t once cross my mind that suicide was my father’s cause of death. Then later that evening, I was shown a handwritten note from Dad.

His suicide raised more questions than I expected: “I thought he was strong?” “How could you do this to our family?” “It was his decision, wasn’t it?”

My coping mechanism was focusing on my passion: Football. All I ever wanted to do was to play in the national league. Fifteen months later, I was in a hospital bed about to be diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a condition in which the heart is less able to pump blood effectively.

It was caused by over-training. I had achieved what I wanted to but hadn’t begun to deal with the loss of my father.

I began to realise I had to learn how I could deal with my heavy heart. I also needed to understand what my dad may have been going through.

During those 15 months, I’d gone to see a few counsellors, but more to keep people around me happy.

However, a trip to a psychologist in Gisborne is one of the most pivotal moments in my life. The understanding I got from even the first session lifted my burden and gave me a huge reason to go forward with my life.

My advice: Seek professional help. Don’t feel disheartened if you don’t connect with the first few counsellors you see. You’ll find the right person to help you.

I had to learn how I could deal with my heavy heart.