Tofi’s last goodbye
Family urge others not to hide illness after student’s death
Tofi Toelupe loved his league, his family and his school. On September 4 his sister Molly Lepa Ogosi, 28, suspected he was unwell. But the burly 15-year-old convinced his family he was well enough to attend Kelston Boys High School so he wouldn’t miss out on his favourite subjects and seeing his mates.
Hours later he collapsed in class and his panicked family rushed to the school. They arrived in time to say a few final words before Tofi died inside an ambulance.
The lovable teen had had open heart surgery and been in and out of hospital.
His grieving sister is now pleading for other young people who notice changes in their health to see a doctor rather than trying to be tough and hiding it from loved ones.
“You need to let your parents and
family know if something’s wrong because you could think it’s small but it’s not.”
Tofi’s family used to drop him off inside the college gates every day. Knowing her brother would appreciate one last visit to the school he loved, the family approached the principal to ask if they could “park up for a couple of minutes” after the funeral on Thursday last week before heading on their way again.
Little did they know the whole school would be waiting to farewell Tofi, and performing a haka so powerful it would reduce them all to tears.
“I didn’t realise that they had this planned for us . . . once we got there we saw the amount of students and me and my parents just started crying. It was just nice to see all his brothers.
“My parents [father Urima and mother Soana] were so happy, just blessed that my brother even went to this school, just to see how strong their brotherhood is.”
Tofi’s mother, Soana, was floored by the gesture.
“I didn’t think it was going to be
lots of people like that. What the school done, man, it’s really, really amazing. They were breaking my heart on that day looking at them.”
Ogosi said her brother died of rheumatic fever, a condition he was diagnosed with about 18 months ago when he collapsed at home.
Fortunately Tofi’s parents were home and able to take him to hospital.
“They found out it was his heart. It took a while for us to find out our brother had rheumatic fever which meant he had to have open heart surgery.”
She said rheumatic fever was normally diagnosed from a sore throat but in her brother’s case it was his stomach. He was never able to keep anything down. He had a successful surgery in May last year, and had various medications.
But during the most recent school holidays he was hospitalised for the whole two weeks.
Tofi was determined to return to school. On the day he died, September 4, he was again persistent.
After collapsing in class, Tofi was still conscious as he was wheeled to the ambulance and family were able to talk to him. But his condition soon deteriorated.
They couldn’t help but think whether Tofi knew he was “going to go” and wanted to say one last farewell
to his friends that day.
Ogosi said the school and his friends was all her brother talked of.
“Because of his medical condition sometimes he wouldn’t be able to go to school, but man, that’s all he talked about. School. It was just like his boys, his teachers, the things he did.”
Her brother was the quietest of the siblings, his sister said.
“He was a real mummy’s boy. We’d say, ‘let’s go somewhere,’ and he’s like, ‘nah’. He’d rather stay home and watch league or play on his PS4.”
Tofi was a passionate league fan but the only one in his family not to support the Warriors — preferring to back the Canterbury Bulldogs.
His death had hit the close-knit family hard. Tofi had never been in trouble or tried alcohol.
“He’s just such a good person, he literally didn’t leave home. He was always with my parents.”
She said he was most well-known for his big smile which would see his eyes almost close up, becoming absorbed in his chubby cheeks.
“The one thing that everyone remembers my brother by, it’s his smile. He has that type of smile where you can’t see his eyes. Oh man, everyone just cracks up . . . sometimes we’re like, ‘Tofi are you even looking?’ and he’s like ‘shut up’,” she laughed.
[We] just started crying . . . My parents were so happy, just blessed that my brother even went to this school, just to see how strong their brotherhood is. Molly Ogosi, Tofi’s sister