Time TV’s altar egos got a chilly reception
New angle for MAFS season 2 something of a facepalm
I’ve often rallied against reality TV in this column. As a genre I think it’s vapid and stupid and holds no inherent value — entertainment or otherwise — whatsoever. But I used to think it was much worse.
I’d like to say my softened stance is because I’ve grown older and wiser, but let’s not fool ourselves; only the first part of that sentiment is true.
No, it’s much more likely down to two factors; firstly that my snobby resistance to reality TV has been steamrolled by our networks’ unwavering commitment to the genre and secondly, that I live with a reality TV junkie. This means I’ve felt the cold sting of compromise on numerous occasions.
Yes, I could’ve just left the room and gone and done something else and I often did. But there were those nights when I was tired and just couldn’t be bothered doing anything more taxing than nothing.
So I’ve watched more reality TV in the past few years than I ever feared I would. I’ve seen married people fighting with each other, randy singles fighting with each other and rich people fighting with each other. As long as someone was fighting with someone else, chances are high I’ve seen it.
Married At First Sight, however, Married at First Sight’s
was different. I saw almost all of it. It didn’t capture my imagination but it did capture a vulnerable time slot in the household viewing schedule. So on it went.
The stakes were high, these idiots had actually gotten legally married, and the fighting was near instant. It was, I’ll admit, entertaining.
But it wouldn’t have been if the show had been about shiny, happy people getting along and working out their problems with trust and understanding. Who the heck wants to watch that?
But for some unfathomable reason that’s how the show’s relationship experts are trying to sell the upcoming second season which starts on Three this Sunday night.
Yesterday, in the Herald’s entertainment magazine TimeOut, returning “expert” Tony Jones did an absolutely stonking job at encouraging people not to tune in.
This season things, he said, had changed. Explosive arguments and catty behaviour was out. “Increased maturity” was in.
“There is certainly a small portion that loves the drama and negativity,” Jones said, accurately describing why the show had proved to be such a big hit in my home. “But I actually think Kiwis really connect with authentic people and increased maturity.”
In real life, sure. On reality TV. No. Not even close, mate. We want to see tantrums and tears and all that good stuff. Not two reasonable people being reasoned with reasonably.
“It’s not a game,” he continued, wrongly. “It was important to us that
Unlike the Kiwis in . . . other reality shows the people on MAFS have no real skills or redeeming qualities to speak of.
the people that we have on board bring that maturity to those tough conversations.”
ZZZZzzzzz. BORING! Sounds lame, right? Well, try and wake up because it’s about to get even worse.
This season the stakes couldn’t be any lower because the participants in Married at First Sight won’t actually be getting married at first sight at all.
Instead of tying the knot and pledging a lifelong commitment to each other they will instead — and I quote — “undergo non-official ceremonies”.
What. A. Load. Of. Baloney. Jones reckoned that the couples getting married was “overlycomplicating” things. Well, yeah, that was the whole point. Nobody said marriage was supposed to be easy.
But more crucially, without the marriage part it’s just two fools pretending to give a shit about each other for no reason and with no real incentive to do so.
“It was about taking away the unnecessary static noise,” Jones offered as way of explanation.
What Jones and his producers have failed to realise is that if you take away all the fighting, arguing, breakdowns and reconciliations and remove the show’s legally binding high stakes well . . . unnecessary static noise is all you have left.
Because unlike the Kiwis in the barrage of other reality shows returning in the next week or so the people on MAFS have no real skills or redeeming qualities to speak of.
They’re not master bakers engaged in fierce competition to bake each other off. They’re not at the top of a demanding field working under pressure and being pushed out of their creative comfort zones to create high-fashion garments. They’re not trying to impress a Michelin starred chef with their culinary skills or potential house buyers with property they’ve renovated themselves.
No. The only thing they did have going for them was no shame and enough crazy to say “I do” to making a lifelong commitment to a complete stranger in exchange for getting on the telly for a bit.
Now they don’t even have that.