Decline the recline option
You can’t lie down past Business class so don’t pretend you can, says a tired and a ‘little bit cranky’ Vera Alves
On my first day back at work after a long holiday in the sunshine, I was jetlagged to hell and a little bit cranky.
I had spent 30 or so hours flying back to New Zealand and — through day flights and night flights, turbulence and peaceful skies — one thing remained constant: the fact that there is always a moron out there who’ll think only of themselves and fully recline their seat.
Air travel, for all its wonders, is still, in 2018, an absolute sack of shit for people who can’t afford Business Class. The air is dry, the food is terrible and the threat of deep vein thrombosis is real. The last thing we need to add to that smorgasbord of awfulness is a selfish monster who thinks it’s okay to take over other people’s personal space.
Yes, I’m talking about you, person who sat in front of me yesterday on the flight back to Auckland. I get it. You want to lie down and you’re trying to make yourself as comfortable as you can in an already confined space. But should you do it at the expense of the person sitting behind you, who’s at least as uncomfortable as you are?
I was just sitting behind you, minding my own business, trying to watch a poorly formatted TV show on a screen with duller colours than my first cellphone, enjoying my wine from a plastic cup when, out of nowhere, high up on the socalled friendly skies, bam, the back of your head, the screen, the wine, the tray table . . . all a lot closer to my face. Now I can’t see the screen properly, the tray table is trying to cut through my stomach, and you’re only 10 per cent more horizontal than you were before, so we’re all losers here.
It’s a matter of common courtesy. Just because you have the option to recline, it does not mean that you should. You can, of course, there is no law to stop you doing so. But why would you do that to the person behind you? Why would you invade their personal space like that, especially as their personal space is already so small?
You don’t even have to be a tall person to be uncomfortable on a plane. If you have legs, with knees, you’re not likely to have a good time on a long-haul flight. The last thing you need is someone reversing the back of their seat all the way up to your nose just so they can be under the illusion that they’re lying down (they’re not even remotely lying down, they’re just being rude and not even for that great a gain).
The one thing that unites us all inside that plane is that we all paid a whole heap of money to be incredibly uncomfortable for a long period of time. That could be a strong bond but you’re ruining any possibility of us ever getting along by acting selfishly. If you recline your seat, you’re making a bad situation even worse for someone else.
To the person who sat in front of me on the flight to Auckland: I’ll never see your face — although I’m all too familiar with the back of your head — but you, sir, are a selfish moron.